Woman: Excuse me, miss… Can I ask you a question?
Chick: Um, sure.
Woman: This might sound kind of strange, but I have a patient that looks just like you and… Have you ever considered donating your eggs?
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Woman: Excuse me, miss… Can I ask you a question?
Chick: Um, sure.
Woman: This might sound kind of strange, but I have a patient that looks just like you and… Have you ever considered donating your eggs?
–Brooklyn-bound L train
Short Latina #1: You could never be a model.
Short Latina #2, concerned: Why?
Short Latina #1: Your ass is too big.
–5th & 5th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Andrea
Headline by: Gimpy
Runners-Up:
· “America’s Next Bottom Model” – Fierce!
· “At Least I Don’t Have My Head in Mine” – Drewp
· “But I Smell Like Vomit and Cigarettes!” – Ba-Dunka-Dunk
· “I Can Hear Your Thong Screaming For Help” – Darryl S
· “Those Are My Breasts; I Sling Them Over My Shoulders So That I Don’t Kick Them When I Walk.” – E-man – Master of the UNIVERSE
· “What’s That Got to Do with Hand Modelling?” – KJM
Boy: Why am I friends with you? Seriously, why would God punish me like this?
Girl: ‘Cause he’s really Satan?
Boy: Don’t you fucking get all philosophical on my ass now!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Lennon
Hobo #1, rubbing another’s belly: Hey, man, what ya got in there?
Hobo #2: Beer.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Stonned def
Tourist: Excuse me, does the F train stop here?
Employee: Are you kidding me?
–Subway restaurant, Houston & Lafayette
Frat guy, to bodega employee: Do you guys have Vitamin Water?
Hobo: I got your Vitamin Water right here. It’s called B-E-E-R!
–DeKalb Ave, Brooklyn
Teen guy #1: When you get a physical, it’s normal to get a thumb up your ass, right?
Teen guy #2: Are you serious?
Teen guy #1: Why?
Teen guy #2: No, dude. That’s fucked.
Teen guy #1: Yeah… Time for a new doctor.
–51st & 2nd
Overheard by: Your mom
Guy #1: So, what would you do if Superman were real and flew in through your room window?
Guy #2: You mean, besides having my feet behind my ears?
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: Shea
Guy #1: You said she’s a slut.
Guy #2: Yeah, but I didn’t mean that. You can’t just quote me verbatim!
Guy #1: Wait, what?
Guy #3: Hahaha! How else can he quote you if it’s not verbatim?!
–Columbia University
Cashier: Do you want some hot sauce?
TV junkie, loudly: What?!
Cashier: Do you want some hot sauce?
TV junkie: Yeah!
Cashier, handing over hot sauce: Have a nice day.
TV junkie: Ohhh-kay!
Cashier, under breath: Douchebag.
–Taco Bell, Roosevelt & Main St
