Little boy: Hey, can I pet your dog?
Man with puppy: You got a dollar?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Emily
Little boy: Hey, can I pet your dog?
Man with puppy: You got a dollar?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Emily
Lady: What are you all waiting for?
26th guy in line for iPhone: The new Harry Potter book.
27th guy in line: Shrek 4.
28th guy in line: Free crack. [Lady walks away.]
–AT&T store, Union Square
Middle-aged lady: Wait — isn’t there supposed to be a separation between church and space?
Young lady: No! Well, yes…
–87th & Lex
Overheard by: hbomb
Skinny chick: Was there scaffolding on his building?
Fat chick: Yeah, don’t you remember? I climbed it in my Catwoman costume on Halloween.
–Greenwich & 6th
Overheard by: tj
College girl: How many Asians are in there?
Bouncer: I don’t know.
College girl: Like, what’s the percentage?
Bouncer: Seventy? [Girls walk away.]
–Bowery & Prince
Seven-year-old: Mom? Did you take a picture when Hammie died?
Mother: No, it’s not right to take pictures of dead things…
Seven-year-old: No, I mean when you took the picture, did it stun him and kill him? [Sister chokes and spits out food.]Mother: Yeah, you deserve to choke on that…
–Penn Station
Overheard by: blondie
Girl wearing cargo capris: Do I look like a lesbian in these pants?
Stranger girl: Yeah, why?
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Hal
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yeah, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?!
Kid #2: Yes, seriously.
Kid #1: Seriously?
Kid #2: Yes! Seriously! Gosh, you’re acting like SpongeBob!
–St. Catherine’s Elementary, Brooklyn
Overheard by: rpk
Headline by: Rock Bottom
Runners-Up:
· “…or Alberto Gonzalez under Oath.” – JC
· “Actual Script from Laguna Beach” – Jeremy
· “Dude, You’ve Been Watching Too Much SquarePant’s Anatomy” – Breanne S.
· “How Serious Can Spongebob Be If Spongebob Could Be Serious?” – Philip
· “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter – Test Campaign #34” – Paul Sheiman
Little girl: I’m annoying, right? I’m annoying you, right Tío?
Uncle: Yes, you’re annoying.
–6 train
Drunk Brit with arm around ugly lady: Oh, Jesus, just walking is making me horny.
–10th & 2nd
Overheard by: emilia
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Your hair is making me horny.
–B train
Overheard by: Janelle
Guy in hoodie: I don’t know — rain gear just doesn’t really turn me on.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ktg
Loud woman: According to recent research, a nine-month-old fetus can experience an erection.
–Bus to Staten Island
Chick on cell: … And he was, like, rubbing his erection on me, and I was like, ‘Dude, you’re rubbing your erection on me…’
–Fordham University
Lady: What are horny men doing at Build-a-Bear, anyway?
–40th & 5th
Overheard by: don’t wanna know
