Thug #1: She got an abortion?
Thug #2: Bitch had a exorcism.
–N train
Overheard by: lindsey
Thug #1: She got an abortion?
Thug #2: Bitch had a exorcism.
–N train
Overheard by: lindsey
Mom: So, is Alex Rodriguez black or Hispanic?
Boy: He’s married.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Bobby
CSR on phone: Yoko, I need someone to speak Chinese to a customer… What do you mean you only speak Japanese? Aren’t they the same?
–Citibank, Rockefeller Plaza
Blonde girl: Are we in a tunnel?
–Tour bus, Lincoln Tunnel
Overheard by: Adriane S
Temp: Do they celebrate Thanksgiving in Europe?
–Mailroom, PR firm
HS girl: The directions say go West. So I guess that means go left. Does West always mean left?
–1/9 train, 14th St
Overheard by: LA Law Girl
Girl on line for ice rink: Ummm, so, is it heated in there?
–Outdoor skating rink, Bryant Park
Overheard by: R&S
NYU girl: What language do they speak in Russia?
–Hayden Residence Hall, Washington Sq
Scholar: Is the West Fourth Street on the East side or the West side?
–6 train, 86th St
Man: You know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, right?
Six-year-old boy: No, he does exist. When I wrote him a letter and asked him for pink Plush Puppies, I got them on Christmas.
Man: Dude, then you are a serious homosexual. What kind of boy asks for pink Plush Puppies?
–Rockaway
Overheard by: Bully
Teen boy: Mom, is it true that some people are both a man and a woman?
Mom: Yes. Well, sort of. Can we talk about this when we get home?
Teen boy: So does that mean they have, like, both–
Mom: –Yes, honey, now be quiet for a little while, okay?
Teen boy: Does that mean they can, like, do the slinky?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Girl: So, are you still getting me pregnant this weekend?
Confused boyfriend: … What?
Girl: Oh. Did I not tell you about that?
–TKTS booth, Times Square
Overheard by: Kevin
Headline by: ilemanzer
Runners-Up:
· “Did You Not Get the Memo Stapled to the Condom?” – Ashez
· “He shoots, She whores!” – Qasar
· “I Want To Have Your Abortion” – travis
· “The Girl’s Guide to Getting Your Boyfriend to Listen: Part 1” – Heather S
· “Yeah, I’m Obligating.” – kerm
Little boy: Mom, how did the dinosaurs cook their meat?
Mother: They didn’t, they ate it raw.
Little boy: Oh. [Long pause.] Are Japanese people dinosaurs?
–Astoria Park
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly…
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don’t you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers…
–Central Park
Overheard by: well I LOVE New Yorkers
Kid: Dad, what’s a novel?
Dad: It’s a story written down in a book.
Kid: What’s a short story?
Dad, staring at kid: Are you freakin’ kidding me?
–Father Demo Square
Overheard by: z-pfeiff
Hipster girl: How could you wear that?!
Fur coat lady: I love animals so much that if I can’t be one I might as well wear one around my neck!
–N train
Overheard by: teabird
