B&T Guy #1: It’s easy. All you gotta do is give her 20 bucks.
B&T Guy #2: Then she jerks you off after she’s done?
B&T Guy #1: I wish!
–Banshee Pub, 74th & 1st
Overheard by: Michael
Yuppie #1: …yeah, those girls don’t want just 20 bucks.
Yuppie #2: Yep, no such thing as free sex in Vietman.
–Maritime Hotel, 9th Ave.
Overheard by: Chaser
Fat black chick: I can’t come when I’m having regular sex.
Skinny black chick: Why not?
Fat black chick: I don’t know. It just doesn’t happen.
Skinny black chick: Maybe the guy sucks.
Fat black chick: And I have a sensitive clit, too.
Skinny black chick: He definitely ain’t hittin it right. Maybe you should get rid of that punk ass bitch.
–46th St. & 8th Ave.
Dowager: What we really need to do is to educate these poor people so they don’t have sex. It’s the poor people who keep spreading all the STDs and the AIDS. Do you know any rich people with STDs? I didn’t think so.
–MoMA cafe
Lady #1: I can’t believe she said those things. She was so politically incorrect.
Lady #2: Well what did you expect her to say?
Lady #1: Something humanly correct.
–Shubert Theatre, 44th Street
Two women are waiting for the bathroom.
Woman #1: They’ve been 20 minutes in there, all you need to do is rip down your underwear and you’re done, it’s not difficult!
Woman #2: Yeah, are they, like, having babies in there?
–Barnes & Noble, 5th Avenue
College chick: She’s all gay. She’s like, “I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay.” Then why you fuckin a guy?
–D train
Lady: So now I have to take a pill every day to remind myself I’m not having sex?
–Century 21, Financial District
Overheard by: Mike Barry
Chick: So you think that by you comin’ at me all gangsta you gonna get my pussy?
–6 train
Overheard by: brian
Girl #1: He was a little too Spock and not enough Kirk.
Girl #2: What?
–F train
A son is moving a table into the back of the truck.
Mom: Be careful not to bend the legs when you push it in.
Son: That’s what she said.
Mom: What?
–30th and Lex
Overheard by: Tom
Player: Yo, I ain’t banged a fat bitch in a while.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Big woman: He looks like a bean…he has no ass!
–Kate Spade, Broome St.
Overheard by: wermice
Girl #1: I don’t know how I got pregnant.
Girl #2: Well, don’t you use birth control?
Girl #1: Yes! That’s why I don’t understand. Right after I had sex I squirted in a lot of that birth control foam cream stuff.
Girl #2: After? You’re supposed to put it in before. That’s why it prevents pregnancy.
Girl #1: Oh? I didn’t know that.
Girl #2: You know you oughta get a IUD. There’s nothing to remember or know, they just stick it in there and you can like keep it in there forever!
Girl #1: Who sticks it in?
Girl #2: Forget it. Just go to the doctor like right away like yesterday. Uh, I mean as soon as possible.
–1st & 1st
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
