Girl #1: Ooh look, a new Whole Foods!
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: It looks nice. Have you been inside?
Girl #2: Yep, I’ve been inside.
Girl #1: How was it?
Girl #2: It was nice.
–E Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Ryan St.Clair
Girl #1: Ooh look, a new Whole Foods!
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: It looks nice. Have you been inside?
Girl #2: Yep, I’ve been inside.
Girl #1: How was it?
Girl #2: It was nice.
–E Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Ryan St.Clair
Enraged hipster: Clearly, I am not a child!
Hipster friends: (silence)
Enraged hipster: I do my own grocery shopping!
–10th St & University Place
Overheard by: PotatoPuff
Girlfriend, brandishing perfume: What do you think of this?
Boyfriend: Between ‘I don’t know’ and ‘What the hell are you talking about,’ I’d say a three.
–Sephora, Times Square
Elderly lady #1, window shopping: What did you do with all your Gucci stuff?
Elderly lady #2: Coochie stuff? Why would I have coochie stuff?
Elderly lady #1: No, Gloria, I said “Gucci!”
–60th St b/w Madison & Park Ave
Overheard by: Emily
Lady: Where is the restroom?
Einstein: There’s one on 4 near the bathrooms, and one up on 6 near the bathrooms.
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
Overheard by: Erika Karnell
Girl: I gotta buy a new hair dryer.
Guy: You just got one like two weeks ago!
Girl: Yeah, I know, but I don't like it. I mean, it dries my hair, but not the way I like.
Guy: (sighs)
–E 84th St
Overheard by: Lisa Freestone
Lady #1: That’s cute. [Gesturing to jungle-print stretchy book cover.] Where’d you get it?
Lady #2: The 99-cent store.
Lady #1: How much was it?
Headline by: peetower
Runners-Up:
· “And what did it cost to install it?” – Jerry Jeff
· “Green.” – sandie
· “The same as one of your “services”” – Numerica
· “There are three kinds of people in the world–those than can count and those who can’t” – Cousin Al
· “What’s in a name, really?” – Rionn Fears Malechem
Guy on cell talking loudly: Where the fuck are you, Emily? (pause) Are you shopping? Don't lie to me, Emily! I will come over there and fucking beat the dogshit out of you. (pause) I don't care if I go to jail, it will be worth it to slap your lying ass around. (pause) You don't buy me shit, Emily. Do you buy me my underwear? No! Do you buy me socks? No! I do. What about all those purses and shoes you have? Me!
Random Dominican teenage girl: Damn, Emily really don't buy him nothing.
–Lucky Star Bus
Overheard by: chinatown bus traveler
Girl #1: Ohmigosh, I just bought scratch ‘n sniff underwear! With an apple on it!
Girl #2: Why the hell would you want to scratch your ass and then sniff it?
–66th & Broadway
Shopper: Will you have spring shoes out next week?
Saleslady: What?
Shopper: Spring shoes! Next week?
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yeah, downstairs they told me you always have the next season’s shoes out one season ahead.
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yes! Spring! Next week!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Roxy Chanel McPink
