Student guy: I was going to ask if we could talk about prisons next.
NYU President John Sexton: You want to talk about prison sex?
–Vanderbilt Hall, Washington Square South
Student guy: I was going to ask if we could talk about prisons next.
NYU President John Sexton: You want to talk about prison sex?
–Vanderbilt Hall, Washington Square South
Girl #1: …so he’d just sit in the back of the room jerking off and nobody could say anything because he was special.
Girl #2: Let me get this straight: he couldn’t control his motorized wheelchair but he could beat off?
Girl #1: Where there’s a will there’s a way.
–Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly
Overheard by: D
Girl: When you were talking about Saddam Hussein, it reminded me of Osama bin Laden. Wasn’t he born here or something?
Professor lady: No…
Girl: Then he grew up here?
Professor: No…
College girl: Oh, right! He came here to go to an Ivy League, didn’t he?
–Tisch Hall, West 4th Street
Professor guy: Does anyone know who the celebrity advocate is for sickle cell anemia? Come on people, you can’t be less hip than me.
NYU girl: T-Boz.
Professor guy: That’s right! T-Boz! From what group?
NYU girl: TLC.
Professor guy: Yeah, TLC! And in case you don’t know who they are…
He puts a picture of TLC on the overhea[r]d projector.
Professor guy: I actually have their CD. I put it on at home when I feel like getting jiggy with it. I thought we’d listen to it while you work. Not I Don’t Want No Scrubs, partly because I don’t know what that means.
–Silver Building, Waverly Place
LSAT guy: Okay, Kelly doesn’t know the answer to this one, so I’m going to call on her.
Kelly: Shit.
LSAT guy: You have no idea how much satisfaction that gives me, getting that response. I’m a total masochist in the classroom…and in the bedroom.
–Crowne Plaza Hotel, East 42nd Street
HS boy #1: You probably never had Power Rangers as a kid.
HS boy #2: Uh, dude, we had TV in Canada!
HS boy #3: See man, this is what happens when you don’t live in
Scarsdale all your life. You learn stuff.
–1 train
Overheard by: Julia Kite
College girl: Is it possible to bring back the dead?
Professor guy: Well, for now, scientists are working on making a
single cell, which is creating life. That’s not the same as bringing
back the dead. That poses the “life after death” question.
College girl: I think about zombies all of the time.
Professor guy: All of the time?
College girl: Yeah, I’m always thinking about zombies.
Professor guy: What do your parents think?
–Meyer Hall, Washington Place
Overheard by: Steven Greenbaum
NYU chick: What are these stupid, weird underpants you put on me?
West Indian nurse lady: They’re called diapers. You lost control of yourself when you passed out.
–Beth Israel Emergency Room, 1st Avenue
Guy #1: Polo is like, the hardest sport to play on the planet.
Guy #2: Uh huh.
Girl: Aside from space travel.
–Columbia University
HS boy #1: Okay, who’s Pavlov?
HS boy #2: I don’t know, it doesn’t ring a bell.
–N train
Overheard by: Tania D, who “almost died laughing”
