Students

Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!

–Columbus Circle station

Overheard by: Mr.Man

Guy: Let my put it this way: if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the hell do you think a humanitarian eats?
Girl: Oh, shut up.

–Hayden Hall Residence, Washington Square West

Overheard by: Kristina Y

Teacher lady: What a deep, deep black!
Girl #1: Black like my soul.
Teacher lady: Maybe you should try pencil.
Girl #2: Wait what did you say?
Girl #1: It’s black like my soul.
Girl #2: You should get a kitty.

–Dominican Academy, East 68th Street

Overheard by: cemo

Professor guy: And who was Sadat?
Chick: Leader of Egypt?
Professor: And what was he doing in 1981?
Chick: Being assassinated?

–Columbia University

Professor guy: You’re missing one more kind of film genre present in this short…
Chick: Um…Fellini?
Professor guy: And what genre does Fellini’s work fall into?
Chick: Um, Europe?
Professor guy: No.

–Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly

HS guy: Would you like to buy a bag of M&M’s to support our basketball team?
Chick: Sorry.
HS guy: Come on, just one bag, we’re raising funds for our team–
Chick: Sorry. I’m sorry.
HS guy: “Sorry”, what is that, “sorry”? Why don’t you just say “no” if you mean no? Why don’t you just say “no“?

–13th & Broadway

Overheard by: Lily

Professor guy: …they were shipping prostitutes across state lines–
Girl: Wait, what do you mean by “shipping”? Like in boxes?

–Baruch College

Student guy: I was going to ask if we could talk about prisons next.
NYU President John Sexton: You want to talk about prison sex?

–Vanderbilt Hall, Washington Square South

Girl #1: …so he’d just sit in the back of the room jerking off and nobody could say anything because he was special.
Girl #2: Let me get this straight: he couldn’t control his motorized wheelchair but he could beat off?
Girl #1: Where there’s a will there’s a way.

–Tisch School of the Arts, Broadway & Waverly

Overheard by: D

Girl: When you were talking about Saddam Hussein, it reminded me of Osama bin Laden. Wasn’t he born here or something?
Professor lady: No…
Girl: Then he grew up here?
Professor: No…
College girl: Oh, right! He came here to go to an Ivy League, didn’t he?

–Tisch Hall, West 4th Street