Summer student: I don’t know where and I don’t know what, but I am getting something pierced.
–NYU Dorm, East Village
Girl: I just want to throw a rock at it and watch all the windows shatter.
–Sculpture for Living, Astor Place
Summer student: I don’t know where and I don’t know what, but I am getting something pierced.
–NYU Dorm, East Village
Girl: I just want to throw a rock at it and watch all the windows shatter.
–Sculpture for Living, Astor Place
Girl #1: It’s the last day of school and I’m not even sad. I feel like I should be crying or something.
Girl #2: Do you want me to pinch you really hard?
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: Michelle
Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
College girl: Oh. Did you use to ride horses as a kid?
Jappy guy: No. I’m just rich
–12th & 5th
Overheard by: Mehler
Nerdy high school girl: I got a B+ on my freaking Holocaust essay. How gay is that?
–Q17 bus, Flushing
Overheard by: Lisa Berlin
Queerspotter: He’s so far inside the closet, he’s in Narnia.
–11th between 1st and A
Overheard by: Vinny C.
Drag queen: There are only two lesbian bars in New York, and that is because there are only five lesbians who tip.
–xl, 16th & 9th
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
African-American student: Later Mr. B, stay white and don’t let the black man bite!
Mr. B: Ok, Alex, stay black and don’t take my wallet.
–NYC Lab School
Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
HS girl #1: Well, I do not want people cloning me. Unless God came to me in a dream and said, “Pilar, you need to clone yourself so that you can live again and save the world”, then I will. But otherwise, I do not want people cloning me. Because if you get cloned you know you have to relive all your same problems and stuff. Isn’t that how cloning works? Anyways, cloning is stupid.
HS girl #2: Yeah, cloning is stupid. Why haven’t they been working on a cure for AIDS or breast cancer? They just want to make everyone die so they can clone them.
–Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
Philosophy professor: So you can see how the The Lord of the Rings did have some truths in it. Now, what was the ring called again, didn't it have a name or something? What was that?
Student, seriously: The precious.
–Fordham Lincoln Center
Headline by: Anna M
Runners-Up:
· “And, for Extra Credit: “What Has It Got in Its Pocketses?”” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Filthy Stupid Studentses!!!” – Parker
· “I Just Gollum Like I See ’em.” – sp
· “No, I Meant Its Elven Name” – MLL
· “The Professors Like Them Raw and Wriggling Here” – Alex
· “The Rest Of the Class Just Had to Learn to Tolerate the Smell Of Dead Fish and Dirty Loincloth” – James
Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Mr.Man
