Stupidity

Grunge rocker teen on cell: Oh, yeah, the book A Wrinkle in Time… It’s, like, one of those books they make you read in sixth grade… Yeah, sixth grade. Six… Like, two divided by three — six.

–Q88 bus

Overheard by: Michelle

Coworker chick #1: You ready, spaghetti?
Coworker chick #2: [Silence.]Coworker chick #1: Well?!
Coworker chick #2: Wait, I’m thinking.
Coworker chick #1: Oh, okay.
Coworker chick #2: Like Lawrence Ferlinghetti!

–84th & 3rd

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.

Anorexic wannabe #1: Ugh, no, ugh… It smells like salt in here! And fat!
Anorexic wannabe #2: Let’s get out of here.

–Chelsea Market, Bowery Kitchen

Overheard by: Rev

Guy: These shoes are so comfortable I can walk in them!
Girl: That could quite possibly be the dumbest shit you have ever said.

–Neptune Ave & Ocean Pkwy

Overheard by: i am that guy

Suit on cell: And I was like, ‘Dude, you should come with us.’ I told her to, like, come and like, have fun with us. I didn’t want her to feel like she’s, like, disintellegent or something…

–LIRR

Overheard by: Call him stupid

Woman on cell: He told me it wasn’t good for the diges– uh… digesticle.

–49th & 11th

Overheard by: alxie

Man: I would like to send this regular post, and I need a confrontation number.

–Post Office, Bed-Stuy Brevoort

Girl: It means super-maker-outer.

–54th & 9th

Hobo: They call it genocide, people. Put that in your laputaters.

–Brookyln-bound R train

Overheard by: what?

PR exec about his new start-up: It’s not exactly rocket scientry. That’s why I can do it.

–Office building, Midtown

Ghetto chick: That dude got no education. I mean, look how he talk!

–1 train

Overheard by: Anna

Bimbette #1: There’s this castle on the West coast… I think it belongs to the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, he seems like a West coast kind of guy.

–Train from Poughkeepsie to Manhattan

Crackhead: What’s your favorite state? Mine is Seattle.

–95th & 2nd

Guy on cell: … Got fisted from another state.

–7th Ave, between 56th & 57th St

Tourist chick: I’m in Pennsylvania?! What the hell?!

–1 train, Penn Station

Bald dude on cell: Yeah, I’m in Vermont with Bill and Mary*! It’s beautiful! I know, it’s amazing — I’m getting service right on the lake.

–Burger King, Graham & Skillman

Port Authority officer: It’s not easy being a dual-state crime fighter like me.

–Exchange Place PATH station

Overheard by: Marisol

Dude: I went to only one strip club in New York. It was the one in Jersey.

–27th & 10th

NYU bimbette #1: What were the original seven wonders of the world?
NYU bimbette #2: I don’t know — some shit that I’ve never heard of. Hold on, I’ll look it up… The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Where the fuck is that?
NYU bimbette #1: I don’t know… Long Island?

–NYU BOBST Library

Dude #1: Dude, I can’t believe it’s going to be like fucking minus eight tomorrow!
Dude #2: Shit. Isn’t freezing, like, 32?
Dude #1: Damn. That means it’s actually going to be like minus 40, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.

–Columbia University

Chick #1: Like, seriously. What is a BMW?
Chick #2: I think it’s a car.
Chick #1: Um, I don’t think so.

–7 train