Man: I can’t believe how many immigrants there are.
Woman: Send ’em all back, what do I care.
Man: Isn’t, like, your mom an immigrant? We all came from immigrants, you know.
Woman: Wah wah, send ’em back.
–D train, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Blonde: You know what? I wish I was a bird.
Brunette: So you could fly far, far away?
Blonde: No, so I could sit on electrical fences and not get shocked.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Bay Jyington
Urinal user: Hey!
Stall user: Yeah?
Urinal user: You doing number one in there?
Stall user: Um . . . yeah.
Urinal user: Good! Because if you’re talking when you’re doing number two it don’t come out right.
–87th & 1st
Girl: I don’t look like an Eskimo, I have a tan.
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker skinned.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I thought Eskimos were darker. I think their skin is darker.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: I think they have darker skin.
Girl: [silence]
Guy: Anyway I think it’d be funny to see you in an igloo.
–2/3 train
Girl #1: Should I have my baby shower before or after my wedding?
Girl #2: You’d better have it before. You’re going to be really drunk after your wedding.
Girl #1: Yeah, good point. Well, one of them is going to be in July, I know that for sure.
–The Dollar Store
Overheard by: Kim Forbes
Girl on cell: … a roma tomato, lime… I mean lemon, either one… omigosh, this is the wrong number! [hangs up]
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy #1: Man it’s got to be the weather, ’cause I’ve been crazy horny lately.
Guy #2: Yeah, chicks are a just as horny, only difference is our testicles hang on the outside of our bodies.
–36th & 7th
Tourist #1: Where do you keep your wallet?
Tourist #2: I don’t, I keep my money in my hair.
Tourist #3: I love how you two are talking about where you keep your money.
–Times Square
Guy #1: The richest guy in the world is an oil tycoon from Saudi Arabia.
Guy #2: Bullshit! You’re telling me the richest guy in the world is from England?
Guy #1: England?? Saudi Arabia!
Guy #2: OK, Europe. Same difference?
–34th & 8th
Tourist #1: I recognize that accent! Where are you from?
Tourist #2: Tennessee.
Tourist #1: Really? I’m from North Carolina!
Tourist #2: Where’s that?
Tourist #1: Right next to Tennessee.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Victoria Spring
