Husband: The male hybrids seem to want to breed but the females aren’t interested, they just sit there and make no attempt to communicate with their peer group.
Wife: Are you being condescending? I sometimes think….I feel you’re being condescending, especially when you talk about the hybrids….
Daughter starts to cry.
Husband: This is never constructive. We’ll continue this later.
–7th Ave & 9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: I really hope they’re gardeners
Girl #1: So the entire time i’m watching this movie, I’m like, what is the Holy Grail? They never explain what it is. And I’m thinking it’s probably like, some kind of trophy or something…? Like maybe a fashion trophy…? Or something…?
Girl #2: Uh huh.
Girl #1: Yeah but no, it turns it out it actually has to do with like, Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene or something.
Girl #2: So it was like… Jesus’s trophy?
–H&M dressing room, 5th Ave
Girl: Where’s the bathroom?
She tries to open the door to the conductor’s box.
Girl: Who’s in there? I have to use the bathroom!
–1 train uptown
Overheard by: jonathan renshon
A flight attendant on an Atlanta to NYC plane is attempting to communicate with two Israeli twentysomethings in broken Spanish.
Flight attendant to Israeli guy: Sir, por favor, sit down. If no sit, I will telephonar el capitan and he will have to turn off el engine. It will take una hora to get to the gate if that happens.
Guy: I don’t speak Spanish.
Flight attendant: What?
Guy: I don’t speak Spanish. Speak English!
Flight attendant: Fine. Sir, please take a seat. The fasten seatbelt sign is still lit. If you do not sit down, I will have to call el capitan.
–Landing strip
Man: Do you think a minute is the same in Egypt as it is in New York?
Woman: I guess so, I don’t know.
Man: ‘Cause you know that song “In a New York Minute,” I think a minute is different here. It’s probably shorter.
–American Airlines terminal, JFK
Girl: Little Italy is changing so much. Look at this place, this doesn’t belong here…
Guy: Why not? It’s called “Casa Bella.” That means “beautiful house.”
Girl: “Bella” doesn’t mean “house.”
–Mulberry & Hester
Overheard by: Wow
Getting on the crowded E at rush hour, a couple from Long Island forces into the train as the doors are closing.
Long Island woman: Come on people, make some room. [To companion] Can you imagine what it’s like in that city in Asia, in China I think, what’s it called?
Long Island dude: Japan?
Long Island woman: Yeah, Japan, that’s the city! They push you into the cars there!
Random suit: You mean like you just pushed all of us?!
–5th Ave E station
Overheard by: Greg the E train rider
Kid : What kind of things do you make?
Balloon-twisting clown: Animals, minerals, vegetables. That kind of thing.
–Gramercy Street Fair, 3rd Ave
Girl #1: Uh, so what’s with these black lights in the tunnels? Are they doing construction? I feel like I’m in a club or something!
Girl #2: Sweetie, that’s daylight.
Girl #1: Oh. But the buildings are glowing!
–1 Train approaching 125th
Overheard by: Melissa Coppola
Girl #1: Where is SUNY Geneseo?
Girls #2 and #3: Geneseo.
Girl #1: Right, but where’s that?
Girl #2: New York, it’s a SUNY.
Girl #1: Wait, all SUNYs are in New York?
Girl #3: It stands for State University of New York! How could you not know this?
Girl #1: What?! This is just like that time you tried to convince me Spain wasn’t in South America.
–L train
