Woman with baby: So I’ve been takin’ these classes, and like they teach you how to draw blood from people and shit, but they have all these funny names for things. Like your skull, they call it the…um…
Woman without baby: Cranium?
Woman with baby: Yeah, the cranium. And they don’t call it “blood”, they call it…cells.
–F train
Overheard by: Miss N.
Suit on cell: Hey, guess where I am?…Guess…I’m in Glasgow!
–Carmine & Bleecker
Overheard by: Chris Cotterman
Preppy guy: How am I racist? I’m Irish! I can’t be racist!
–9th Street & 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Miss Hipstah
Woman on cell: My daughter went to Montreal. I was like, “Why do you have to go where the French go? Why couldn’t you just go to Ontario?”
–55th & 3rd
Bag lady: Can I have a quarter? The Irish have taken over the YMCA.
–22nd & 5th
Overheard by: smanikas
Thug: Paisano?…It’s like “my nigga” but in Italian.
–Times Square
Overheard by: KRUD
Guy #1: Yeah, my mom said this church would help us find God or
something…
Guy #2: How are you supposed to find God?
Guy #1: Hell, I dunno, she said something about a treasure hunt…
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Karina
Chick: Hey, did the space shuttle land yet?
Man: No, it’s still circling in space endlessly.
Chick: Really, so are they stuck up there?
Man: I’m kidding. It landed last week.
Chick: So did it land in California or at JFK?
Man: JFK? What the hell are you talking about? You mean the Kennedy Space Center, not JFK! I can’t believe you’re going to be a doctor.
–George Washington Bridge Bus Station
Fat guy #1: So I go in and he’s like, “This definitely isn’t a fun job or anything. It’s not an exciting job. This isn’t one of those jobs where you going to be happy about coming into the office in the morning. This job isn’t, you know, you’re not going to learn anything at this job. But you’ll make a lot of money.”
Fat guy #2: Cool.
Fat guy #1: Yeah, so I can sell my soul, y’know? I’m like, “I’ll sell crack to kids if I could make a lot of money.”
–E train
Bicycle girl: It smells like it’s about to rain.
Bicycle guy: That’s because it is raining.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Woman: Oh, I wanted a large popcorn. I thought you said this size was the biggest?
Movie guy: It is.
Woman: What about the bucket over there? It looks bigger.
Movie guy: It is.
Woman: Well, if this is the large, what’s the bucket?
–City Cinemas, E. 86th Street
Overheard by: JDH
Girl #1: So after we go to the MOMA, we’ll go to the Village and do some shopping–
Girl #2: What’s this “Village” you keep talking about? Is it far away?
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
President: …and drop it off on the Upper West Side at 77th and 2nd.
Assistant chick: But that’s the East Side, you mean–
President: No, the West side at seventy-seventh and 2nd!
–E. 33rd Street office
Woman: I’d like to order a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Cashier lady: I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re kosher.
Woman: Oh OK, then make it a sausage, egg, and cheese.
–Nathan’s, LaGuardia
