Dude #1: Islam is bullshit, man. How can you fast for a whole month? No wonder they’re fucking crazy.
Dude #2: They don’t completely fast. They can eat those noodles.
Dude #1: What noodles?
Dude #2: Ramandan noodles–they’re like six for a buck.
Dude #1: Those are called Ramen noodles. God, you’re fucking stupid.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Mommy: Here you go, eat your muffin.
Little girl: Mommy, Mommy, I’m peeing my pants.
Mommy: First you fall out of your bed, now you are peeing your pants. I just don’t know what is wrong with you today!
–Bagel Shop, 97th & Broadway
Overheard by: abigail
B&T Girl #1: He is so “not Westchester.”
B&T Girl #2: I know!
B&T Girl #3: I don’t get it. I’ve been here a year and I don’t get that. And what is or who is “the bridge and tunnel crowd”? Is it a good thing that those guys called us “bridge and tunnel crowd” when we walked in?
B&T Girl #1: Eww.
B&T Girl #2: Gross.
B&T Girl #1: Ew, oh there is so no way anyone called me bridge and tunnel.
B&T Girl #3: So that’s bad?
B&T Girl #2: What could be worse?
–Metro-North
Chick: Well, I didn’t know it was the men’s room.
Dude: What? The urinal didn’t tip you off?
–Ear Inn, Spring Street
Overheard by: Jim Meskauskas
Guy: So you’re saying tuna is really dolphin?
Lady: That’s why it says “Dolphin Safe”. It’s safe to eat even though it’s dolphin.
–Broadway & Worth
Girl #1: …uh, strapless?
Girl #2: Yeah? Which one?
Girl #1: You know you just asked me what strap on I bought, right?
Girl #2: Oh, shit. I’m not very smart am I?
–Victoria’s Secret, Prince Street
Overheard by: Natalie
HS Girl #1: I’ve never heard of Latvia.
HS Girl #2: I’ve heard of it; I just don’t think it’s a real place.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: andersonsmitty
Hispanic mom: How much is the popcorn?
Concession Stand guy: Well the medium is $5 and the large is $5.50.
Hispanic mom: What’s the difference? Is the large just bigger?
–Loews Lincoln Square, 68th Street
Overheard by: ~dana
Tourist mom: Well, the sticker there next to the door says this is the 2029 train, find that on the map–
NY guy: This is the R train, and that is a bus map.
–R train
Overheard by: Angelo Colucci
Tourist woman: So what do you call this?
Tourist guy: The subway.
Tourist woman: Oh.
–1 train
Overheard by: B. Howard
Tourist mom: So we just wait and the trains come right here?
–1/2/3 34th Street station
Overheard by: Adele
A tourist couple gets on at Times Square. It stops at 72nd next.
Tourist girl: Is this our stop?
Tourist guy: No, they said to take it two stops, we’ve only gone one.
The train continues on to stop at 96th.
Tourist girl: Wait, is this near the stop for Grand Central Station?
–2 train
The train car had no air conditioning so the door between cars was kept open to let in a breeze. A lady steps on the train, stands near the opened door, and then closes it.
Seated lady: We need the air!
Standing lady: It’s not safe.
Seated lady: It’s too hot in here. We kept it open to get some air.
Standing lady: But it’s not safe. I could get sucked out the door.
–2 train
Overheard by: Ebonita
Girlfriend: So let me get this straight, you think that God used the tiger to punish Roy?
Boyfriend: I think it’s possible.
Girlfriend: I can’t believe I’m dating you. What’s wrong with you, you have gay friends.
Boyfriend: Whoa, do you think I’m some sort of right-wing nut? I have no problem with gays. God punished him for dabbling in the black arts.
Girlfriend: Oh…huh?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Peter Lucas
