Girl #1: Have you heard? I read dolphins are committing suicide together in ever larger numbers.
Girl #2: Is that good or bad for us?
–Dumbo
Girl #1: Have you heard? I read dolphins are committing suicide together in ever larger numbers.
Girl #2: Is that good or bad for us?
–Dumbo
Girlfriend: I am going to kill myself and blame it on you.
Boyfriend: Great… I’ll sign your suicide note!
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: sneakey black guy
Columbia student on cell: Man, I need Spring Break so bad. I need it more than I needed to mess around with that suicidal chick last weekend.
–W 114th St
Overheard by: arthur digby sellars
Middle-aged lady on cell: Well, does Mom know about this? … That’s not a suicide pact, Dad, it’s a murder-suicide.
–Smith & Baltic, Brooklyn
Old suburban lady: Well, maybe I should try killing myself for once!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Ian
Teen to friend, enthusiastically: Let’s hold hands and skip and tell him to go kill himself!
–Henderson Ave, Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Old guy: Guy is holding up traffic for five hours because he wants to jump off the George Washington Bridge. You wanna kill yourself, take a bottle of pills!
–Chiropracter’s office
Overheard by: sara n.
Girl #1: Didn’t Tupac kill himself?
Girl #2: Ummm, definitely not. He was shot.
Girl #1: Oh. That’s unfortunate.
–Lower East Side
Chick #1: What’d you do today?
Chick #2: Contemplated suicide.
Chick #1: Who are you?
–American Apparel, Houston St
Guy #1: Yesterday this girl said she wanted to throw herself in front of the train and I’m like, “This bitch is crazy.”
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I mean, I see that motherfucka coming and that shit ain’t gonna happen, you know?
Guy #2: Maybe she was depressed.
Guy #1: Are you kidding? That shit is pancake style…bitch is crazy.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Nander
NYU girl #1: … Like those people who kill themselves by throwing themselves onto the subway tracks.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, right? I mean, I know you want to die and everything, but could you like not make me late??
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: wow
Guy #1: …So he killed himself.
Guy #2: Wow.
Guy #1: Yeah. But at least he gave her gonorrhea first.
–Palladium elevator, East 14th Street
Kid on cell: I am about to kill myself because of you!
Hobo in wheelchair: Do it! Do it! You haven’t got the balls!
–Prince between Mulberry & Mott
Overheard by: Hashashin
Queer to friend: Never again! If I ever have to do that again, I’ll stab myself in the face! (turns to Asian lady on escalator behind him) Hi! Don’t kill yourself!
Asian lady: I probably should…
–Penn Station
