Girl #1: Didn’t Tupac kill himself?
Girl #2: Ummm, definitely not. He was shot.
Girl #1: Oh. That’s unfortunate.

–Lower East Side

Chick #1: What’d you do today?
Chick #2: Contemplated suicide.
Chick #1: Who are you?

–American Apparel, Houston St

Guy #1: Yesterday this girl said she wanted to throw herself in front of the train and I’m like, “This bitch is crazy.”
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I mean, I see that motherfucka coming and that shit ain’t gonna happen, you know?
Guy #2: Maybe she was depressed.
Guy #1: Are you kidding? That shit is pancake style…bitch is crazy.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Nander

NYU girl #1: … Like those people who kill themselves by throwing themselves onto the subway tracks.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, right? I mean, I know you want to die and everything, but could you like not make me late??

–NYU Bus

Overheard by: wow

Guy #1: …So he killed himself.
Guy #2: Wow.
Guy #1: Yeah. But at least he gave her gonorrhea first.

–Palladium elevator, East 14th Street

Kid on cell: I am about to kill myself because of you!
Hobo in wheelchair: Do it! Do it! You haven’t got the balls!

–Prince between Mulberry & Mott

Overheard by: Hashashin

Queer to friend: Never again! If I ever have to do that again, I’ll stab myself in the face! (turns to Asian lady on escalator behind him) Hi! Don’t kill yourself!
Asian lady: I probably should…

–Penn Station

Guy #1: I mean, imagine setting up a car bomb in Times Square, the most populated place in the world and then running away.
Guy #2: Yeah, that's terrible.
Guy #1: I mean, say what you want about suicide bombers, but they give it their all…

–1 Train

Eight-year-old girl drinking margarita: My daddy taught me in kindergarten, if any boys treat me like s-h-i-t, kick them in the dick!
[Five minutes later.]Eight-year-old girl: I’m gonna kill myself!

–Mexican Restaurant near Union Square

Bored Guest: When are we going to get out of here? Don’t tell me in two hours. I’d rather get out of here in three hours than in two hours. If I have to go over that bridge during rush hour, I’ll shoot myself and then jump. I’ll be falling with a gun to my head.

Style Court Plaintiff Room