NYU girl #1: I have so much work due in this next week that it’s not even funny. I kind of want to kill myself.
NYU girl #2, glancing around: Don’t say things like that. People actually take you seriously around here.
–Starbucks, Washington Sq Park
Overheard by: prospective nyu student … or not
Hipster #1: I’m really into Bossa Nova.
Hipster #2: I like her, too! What was the name of her hit song? The one that goes [starts humming]
–Yuppietown
Guy: You know it was just like…
Girl: Yeah…
–88th & 2nd
Girl #1: I keep all my money in that piggy bank you gave me.
Girl #2: Piggy bank?
Girl #1: Actually it was a bear, wasn’t it? I save my money in that piggy bear.
–7 train
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I’m not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy: I am not the mommy.
Mom: You’re the mommy.
Little boy, screaming: I am not the mommy!
–Little Italy grocery
Overheard by: should i be taking parenting notes?
White guy on cell: Yo, shit nigga, this shit the bomb!
Black guy: If you close your eyes, he almost sounds like the real deal.
–Houston & Varick
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Old white husband: What are lamb chops?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for dinner all the time.
Old white husband: What are they?
Old black wife: I used to buy them for you!
Old white husband: I don’t remember, tell me what they are.
Old black wife: They’re like pork chops, but made out of lamb.
–D train
Overheard by: daniela
Girl: Why don’t you ever invite me to the dorms?
Guy: ‘Cause if you wanna come, you should ask.
Girl: Well, do you want me to come over?
Guy: If I don’t have to study, yeah.
Girl: Well then you should invite me!
Guy: Why?
Girl: ‘Cause it would make me happy!
Guy: What the hell do I care?
Girl: Well, you wouldn’t go down on me if you didn’t want me to be at least pleased.
Guy: That…is probably the best argument you could have made.
Girl: I’m so glad no one speaks English on this train.
–1 train
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Guy #1: Yeah, but you have a girlfriend.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she needs to lose weight.
Guy #1: Hmm, well how much weight do you think she needs to lose?
Guy #2: About 40 pounds. She says to me, “Why don’t we make love anymore?” and I’m like, “Why the hell do you think?”.
–2 train
Guy #1: No, man, she’s been lying for a while now.
Guy #2: I dunno, man…
Guy #1: It’s true. Remember that time I was like, “Hey, where’s your baby?” And she was like, “Oh yeah…I had a miscarriage.”
Guy #2: True. True.
–Pick a Bagel, 3rd Ave between 22nd & 23rd
Overheard by: Shannon
