The Advance Scout from Planet X Blows Its Cover

Guy: You know, they’re giving away money on the T train for being nice.
Bimbette: What?
Guy: The T train — they’re giving away money to people who are nice.
Bimbette: Who are?
Guy: The T train.
Bimbette: How can a train give away money?
Guy: Not the train. The people — the train people.
Bimbette: Why would they give away money?
Guy: To encourage people to be nice. They give it to people who do nice things.
Bimbette: Nice things?
Guy: Yeah, like holding open the door, letting someone have your seat — nice things.
Bimbette: How can they just give away money?
Guy: It’s not actual money. They’re gift certificates to Dunkin’ Donuts.
Bimbette: What’s a donut?
Guy: Are you fucking kidding me?

–A train

Overheard by: this imaginary train you speak of sounds nice

Posted on September 26, 2018
Bimbettes, Guys, Idiots, Money & Class, Nice People, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

Josh Wins Every Conversation and Has No Friends

Hipster artsy girl: So, did you do that, like, big art show?
Hipster artsy boy: Which one?
Hipster artsy girl: Um, I don't know.
Hipster artsy boy: Then yes.

–W 23rd & 10th

Posted on September 16, 2018
Arts & Letters, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Hipsters, Questions, Talking/Convos

She’s Training for the Sextathlon

Guy: Hey, you’re limping! Did you run the marathon or something?
Gal: No, I fell doing a kegstand.

–Greenwich & Charles

Posted on September 5, 2018
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, The Village

I’m Never Going to Figure Out This Dumb Language

Older guy: What time is it?
Younger guy: Tuesday.

Translated from the Spanish.

–91st & Columbus

Overheard by: Jane T.

Posted on August 9, 2018
Guys, Language Barrier, Old People, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

And I Insist Upon Sharing All the Details of Our Love with You…Son

Thug #1: Your mom is a lady, bro.
Thug #2: I don’t want to hear no more of this shit. Go fuck her in the ass. Go fuck her in the ear. I don’t want to hear it.
Thug #1: No, dawg. She a WOMAN.
Thug #2: Fuck you, I said stoppit.
Thug #1: I know you smart. I know you smart. But she is a lady.

–61st and CPW

Overheard by: Lauren Michelle

Posted on August 3, 2018
Assholes, Backdoor, Insults, Kink, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Sex, Talking/Convos, Thugs

So That’s Not Abraham Lincoln?

Tourist #1, about Hasidic Jewish guys wandering around: Look!
Tourist #2: Huh?
Tourist #1: Wanna go talk to the Jews?!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Lynn

Posted on June 29, 2018
Talking/Convos, Tourists, Union Square and East Village

Close, but No Cigar

NYU guy #1: But wait, doesn’t Fidel Castro own the Dallas Mavericks?
NYU guy #2: No, no, you’re thinking of Mark Cuban.
NYU guy #1: Oh. What a coincidence.
NYU guy #2: Um, not really.

–Waverly Pl

Posted on June 26, 2018
Comebacks, Football, Friends, Guys, Idiots, Names, Students, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Washington Square Park

Too Soon?

NYU girl #1: I have so much work due in this next week that it’s not even funny. I kind of want to kill myself.
NYU girl #2, glancing around: Don’t say things like that. People actually take you seriously around here.

–Starbucks, Washington Sq Park

Overheard by: prospective nyu student … or not