Hispanic teen #1: Oh my God girl! You’re such a fucking bitch!
Hispanic teen #2: Pshaa… Nigga please, I got like 300 friends on MySpace and you only got like 100, bitch.
Hispanic teen #1: At least I didn’t sleep with all my 300 friends.
Hispanic teen #2: You are so off my top 14.
Hispanic teen #1: You aren’t even on mine, so I dont give a shit.
Hispanic teen #2: Bitch
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bryan
JAP #1: Oh my God, alcohol kills so many people.
JAP #2: Ok, you know water kills more people than alcohol.
JAP #1: What are you talking about?
JAP #2: You’re so stupid! Don’t you remember the floods?
–Union Square
Overheard by: bob
Tourist husband: Hey, look, a Starbucks.
Tourist Wife: Ooo…
–44th & 8th
Guy: You know, they’re giving away money on the T train for being nice.
Bimbette: What?
Guy: The T train — they’re giving away money to people who are nice.
Bimbette: Who are?
Guy: The T train.
Bimbette: How can a train give away money?
Guy: Not the train. The people — the train people.
Bimbette: Why would they give away money?
Guy: To encourage people to be nice. They give it to people who do nice things.
Bimbette: Nice things?
Guy: Yeah, like holding open the door, letting someone have your seat — nice things.
Bimbette: How can they just give away money?
Guy: It’s not actual money. They’re gift certificates to Dunkin’ Donuts.
Bimbette: What’s a donut?
Guy: Are you fucking kidding me?
–A train
Overheard by: this imaginary train you speak of sounds nice
Hipster artsy girl: So, did you do that, like, big art show?
Hipster artsy boy: Which one?
Hipster artsy girl: Um, I don't know.
Hipster artsy boy: Then yes.
–W 23rd & 10th
Guy: Hey, you’re limping! Did you run the marathon or something?
Gal: No, I fell doing a kegstand.
–Greenwich & Charles
Older guy: What time is it?
Younger guy: Tuesday.
Translated from the Spanish.
–91st & Columbus
Overheard by: Jane T.
Thug #1: Your mom is a lady, bro.
Thug #2: I don’t want to hear no more of this shit. Go fuck her in the ass. Go fuck her in the ear. I don’t want to hear it.
Thug #1: No, dawg. She a WOMAN.
Thug #2: Fuck you, I said stoppit.
Thug #1: I know you smart. I know you smart. But she is a lady.
–61st and CPW
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Tourist #1, about Hasidic Jewish guys wandering around: Look!
Tourist #2: Huh?
Tourist #1: Wanna go talk to the Jews?!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lynn
NYU guy #1: But wait, doesn’t Fidel Castro own the Dallas Mavericks?
NYU guy #2: No, no, you’re thinking of Mark Cuban.
NYU guy #1: Oh. What a coincidence.
NYU guy #2: Um, not really.
–Waverly Pl
