Girl #1: I don’t know, she’s weird!
Girl #2: Where is she from, anyway?
Girl #1: Sweden, I think… She’s, like, an exchange student.
Girl #2: Sweden? What is that, anyway — a religion?
Girl #1: Oh, please, it’s a country, dumbass.
Girl #2: You were the one to say that Canada was a part of Arizona.
–Times Square
Guido: Ya know, you’re very cute.
Asian chick: Um, thanks?
Guido: Wanna sit with me on the train?
Asian chick: No, I’m good.
Guido: Can I getcha numba?
Asian chick: Uh, no, sorry. I just converted. I, um, only go out with Asians now.
–Penn Station
Local: Where you do want to go today, Mom?
Tourist mom: I don’t know. A museum?
Local: We always go to a museum when you visit. Let’s try a new one this time. We haven’t been to the Guggenheim. The Museum of Sex is interesting.
Tourist mom: Museum of what? Museum of Sex? They have that here?! Please tell me you don’t go there. Do you go to church these days? Hmmm? Do they have churches in this city?!
–Union Square Park
Caribbean woman #1: …and so I tol’ him, “You betta take your balls, put them in your hand, and do ya job.”
Caribbean woman #2: Mmm hmm.
–Q33 bus
Chick #1: Jessica, I’m not kidding, he looked like a beaver!
Chick #2: Christine, that’s vulgar!
Chick #1: No, but seriously — like a chipmunk!
Chick #2: But why wouldn’t you say ‘chipmunk’ instead?
Chick #1: Because he seriously looked like a real beaver!
–77th & Madison
Boyfriend: Don't do that. Hey, you just sexually abused me!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but you liked it.
–L Train
Overheard by: Kait
Guy #1: What was that guy trying to sell you on?
Guy #2: Judaism.
Guy #1: Oh.
–42nd & Park
Perceptive woman: Anytime you overhear people, if you only hear a second of what they say, it’s always completely stupid.
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Guy: Have you read the book we’re going to be discussing tonight?
Jane Hyun: I wrote it.
–Starbucks, 29th & Park
Young female attorney: So, I went to my cousin’s party the other night and did keg stands with her and her law school friends.
Young male attorney: No way.
Young female attorney: Yup. I even played beer pong and flip cup.
Young male attorney: I can’t believe you went to a law school party.
Young female attorney: Oh, it gets better. I was talking to this 24-year-old guy, and in my drunken state accidently mentioned the name of the firm, and he was all like, ‘Oh my god! My father works for that firm! Do you know Steve Callahan*?’
Young male attorney: Whoa.
Young female attorney: Yeah, so I tried bargaining with him, telling him I wouldn’t tell his father about how he spends his Thursday nights if he wouldn’t mention that he saw me there.
Young male attorney: Oh, so you should be okay, then.
Young female attorney: Not so much. He reminded me that in order to tell his father anything, I’d have to admit I was there.
Young male attorney: Touché. Looks like he chose the right profession… Do you think Callahan would let him be my intern this summer?
–In line for shish kebab vendor, Astoria
