Chick: …wait, what?
Man: Yeah, I have hepatitis.
Chick : Which one?
Man: …A and C.
–Yaffa Cafe, St. Marks
Chick: …wait, what?
Man: Yeah, I have hepatitis.
Chick : Which one?
Man: …A and C.
–Yaffa Cafe, St. Marks
Black girl: I didn’t want to say this in there, but have you noticed how all Mexican men working in bars and restaurants look the same?
White girl #1: Well I bet they all think that white women look the same.
White girl #2: Well all elephants probably look the same to gorillas.
–West 3rd Street & 6th Avenue
Hobo: What’s the best in the nation? Hey you, what’s the best in the nation?
Guy: The best what?
Hobo: In the nation. What’s the best in the nation?
Girl #1: The best what in the nation?
Hobo: You know, like country.
Girl #1: Oh, you mean what’s the best country?
Hobo: Yeah. Nation.
Girl #1: The United States!
Hobo: Wrong!
Girl #2: Red Sox nation!
Hobo: Wrong!
Guy: Nigeria?
Hobo: Wrong! The best in the nation…the best nation is a donation! Gimme a nickel.
–2nd Avenue & 7th Street
Overheard by: Carmen Nobel
Guy: If you could marry Dave Matthews right now, would you?
Girl: Yeah, I would; I would piss on his face!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yeah, I heard he likes that.
–John & Gold
Overheard by: Jon Margolis
Man #1: Hey, did you hear they’re remaking The Poseidon Adventure?
Man #2: Really? Are they going to get anyone from the original? Is Shelley Winters in it?
Man #3: Yeah. She plays the boat.
–Film Forum, Houston Street
Overheard by: JP
Girl: Who’s that on your t-shirt?
Guy: Well, it says “New York Dolls”…
Girl: Is that Led Zeppelin?
Guy: Um, no, it’s the New York fucking Dolls!
Girl: Asshole.
–Beauty Bar, East 14th Street
Little girl: I’m tired of thinking about ponies! Now it’s time to kill!
–Park Slope
Guy #1: Isn’t that the Norwegian metal band where the drummer is eight and he killed the lead singer?
Guy #2: No, the drummer ate the lead singer.
–1st Avenue & 6th Street
A man is stumbling down the street. He trips, falls hard and hits his head on the ground.
Guy: Sir, excuse me, are you okay? You just fell really hard.
Man: …Fuck you.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: The L0rdz
Woman: I want a vanilla coffee creme.
Barista chick: I can get you a cup of plain coffee with vanilla
syrup, and you can put the milk in over there. Unless you want a
latte or something?
Woman: What’s a latte?
Barista chick: It’s espresso with milk.
Woman: Oh, espresso! I think that’s a little strong… What about a cappuccino? Do they have those here?
–Starbuck, West 4th Street & Washington Square East
