Teens

Teenage checkout worker, jokingly to coworker: I swear to fucking god one of these days I'ma just reach over and choke you. You are so goddamn annoying I will choke you! (Asian chick approaches, gives bag to teen worker)
Teenage checkout worker, leaning over counter: Nah whadda mean? Nah whadda mean? I'ma choke this mudafucker right here one day.
Asian chick: (silently gives bemused smile)
Teenage checkout worker: I swear to god I'ma choke this one right here, nah whadda mean?
Coworker being threatened: Yo, she doesn't speak English.
Asian chick, with sass: Excuse me? What you don't think I speak English? What, cause I'm Asian you don't think I can fucking speak English?
Coworker: (shocked silence)
Teen checkout worker: You tell him, girl! You tell him!
Asian chick: Yeah. Yeah. I got an 800 on the English section of the SAT. Yeah, I speak English.
Teen checkout worker: Tell him! Say that shit again yo, what was your score, girl?
Asian chick: An 800!

–B&H Photo Video

Overheard by: you tell him, girl!

Teen girl #1: You know what I think the worst smell would be? Dirty diapers with rotting flesh wrapped in rubber; all set on fire.
Teen girl #2: What about sulfur, too?
Teen girl #1: Well, sulfur usually comes along with the burning anyway. And you know, that all might smell so bad that it smells good…
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you should tell Dartmouth that when you interview there.

–81st & CPW

Overheard by: Ariamy

Weird-looking teen: It's Turkish turnip time again!
Friend: Word.

–79th & 3rd

Overheard by: wallflowerblonde

Young black teen: Is that a North Face jacket you're wearing?
White guy: Yes, it is.
Other young black teen: Do you use it to go skiing?
White guy: Uh, yes.
Young black teen to friend: See! I told you white people use North Face jackets to go skiing!

–F Train

Teenage girl, running up to two friends from behind: Molly! And Kaya!
Molly or Kaya: Oh, Bren! Are you coming to Starbucks?
Bren: No, I have to go get that cancer vaccination! Right now!

–Prince & Spring

Teen boy #1: I love the smell of the subway.
Teen boy #2: Why?
Teen boy #1: You know why.

–71st St & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Teen chick #1: Ooh, I know! Your nickname should be Che.
Teen chick #2: Huh?
Teen chick #1: You know, like that guy on the T-shirts.

–Jamba Juice, Houston & Mercer

Teenage girl #1: And she was trying to convince me that Florida is north of New York!
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, some people are so stupid! North of us is like… Delaware!

–Hudson & Gansevoort

Overheard by: Laura

Hispanic teen #1: Yo, man, I was with this girl last night, and she was dressed all naked and shit, man.
Hispanic teen #2: Word? She was dressed all naked?
Hispanic teen #1: [Nods.]Hispanic teen #3: Word?

–Houston & Washington

Teen girl #1: What is the Bronx short for?
Teen girl #2: It’s not short for anything, it’s just the Bronx.
Teen girl #1: Oh, I thought it was short for Brooklyn.
Teen girl #2: Wow.

–6 train

Overheard by: Jen