Teen boy #1: Dude that sounds like someone trying to drown a dolphin.
Teen boy #2: Ha, ha, ha! Yo, they live in the water! They can’t drown!
Teen boy #1: I know, that’s why it’s so fucked up!
–58th & Lexington
Overheard by: Max Melsenti
Teen boy #1: Dude that sounds like someone trying to drown a dolphin.
Teen boy #2: Ha, ha, ha! Yo, they live in the water! They can’t drown!
Teen boy #1: I know, that’s why it’s so fucked up!
–58th & Lexington
Overheard by: Max Melsenti
Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along!
–Canal Street
JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out.
–Broadway & Washington Place
Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women!
–Times Square
Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you!
–Elizabeth & Prince
Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: djlindee
Teen boy #1: So Charlie puked this morning!
Teen boy #2: What?
Teen boy #1: Yeah! He was so fucking drunk that he puked in the fridge this morning.
Teen boy #2: No shit!
Teen boy #1: Seriously. And fucking Dylan, he fucking sprayed it all over the fucking place. It was fucking nasty, man.
–M86 bus
Overheard by: Ally
Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!
–Old Navy, Harlem
Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?
–F Train
Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!
–St Mark's Place
Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: torrie
Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!
–1st & 14th
Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.
–forever 21 (queens center mall)
Overheard by: defragment my harddrive
Teen girl #1: Yo, you ever learned about the Holocaust?
Teen girl #2: Nah, I ain't never studied no holocost. I ain't never learned about no wars.
Teen girl #1: Except the Civil War.
Teen girl #2: Damn, high school was shit.
–Target, Atlantic Center
HS boy #1: Damn, it’s rush hour.
HS boy #2: You know it’s rush hour when you can touch a girl’s booty and she don’t slap you.
–6 train
Overheard by: ZorbaBuddha
Cashier #1: So they’re like, not gonna let me graduate.
Cashier #2: What if you give them money? My school’s a capitalist machine, they’ll let you get away with murder if you pay them enough…unless you’re pregnant. Then you’re screwed.
Cashier #1: Nah, they’re too used to kids pulling knives on them for extra pencils.
Cashier #2: Then cry. You can get anything you want by crying. Works for me.
–Kings Plaza, Brooklyn
Teen girl: That’s why I fucking hate guys — ’cause they all suck cock!
Upset friend: Thank you! This is what I’m talking about!
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: rory
Teenage checkout worker, jokingly to coworker: I swear to fucking god one of these days I'ma just reach over and choke you. You are so goddamn annoying I will choke you! (Asian chick approaches, gives bag to teen worker)
Teenage checkout worker, leaning over counter: Nah whadda mean? Nah whadda mean? I'ma choke this mudafucker right here one day.
Asian chick: (silently gives bemused smile)
Teenage checkout worker: I swear to god I'ma choke this one right here, nah whadda mean?
Coworker being threatened: Yo, she doesn't speak English.
Asian chick, with sass: Excuse me? What you don't think I speak English? What, cause I'm Asian you don't think I can fucking speak English?
Coworker: (shocked silence)
Teen checkout worker: You tell him, girl! You tell him!
Asian chick: Yeah. Yeah. I got an 800 on the English section of the SAT. Yeah, I speak English.
Teen checkout worker: Tell him! Say that shit again yo, what was your score, girl?
Asian chick: An 800!
–B&H Photo Video
Overheard by: you tell him, girl!
Teen girl #1: You know what I think the worst smell would be? Dirty diapers with rotting flesh wrapped in rubber; all set on fire.
Teen girl #2: What about sulfur, too?
Teen girl #1: Well, sulfur usually comes along with the burning anyway. And you know, that all might smell so bad that it smells good…
Teen girl #2: Yeah, you should tell Dartmouth that when you interview there.
–81st & CPW
Overheard by: Ariamy
