Guy #1 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these babes.
Guy #2 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these jugs.
Guy #1: Look at these bombs.
Guy #2: Holy shit! Russian Scuds!
Guy #1: Look at these torpedos!
Guy #2: Look at these fun bags!
Guy #1: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! What a babe!
Guy #2: Yeah, but her friend has to do something with that can.
–Broadway & 22nd
Overheard by: Eric Wenstrom
Italian #1: So my buddy Max was telling he how how he hooked up with this Puerto Rican chick the other night and it was…
Italian #2: And it was the best sex he ever had, right?
Italian #1: Man, you alway fuck up my stories by cutting in.
Italian #2: Fine, finish the story.
Italian #2: Fuck you, you already wrecked it!
–Union Square
Sista #1: I wish he’d take them fuckin’ pants off do I could see what he got to work with.
Sista #2: He’s a whopper!
Sista #1: His dick could make him money, man.
–Union Square
Overheard by: lost soul
Vendor guy: Hey baby, do you want the Post delivered every morning?
Hot girl: No, I don’t know how to read.
Vendor guy: That’s all right, I’ll read it to you. I’ll come to your crib and read it to you every morning.
–3rd Ave street fair
Overheard by: Andy Marc
Man: Hi…Nice to see you again.
Woman: Hi.
Man: How’s your Prius?
–Broadway & 8th during Anti-War Rally
Overheard by: Joey Gillis
Hawaiian shirt grocery dude: Gummy what?
Hipster: Bears.
Grocery dude: Um… Let me ask the manager.
–Trader Joe’s, 14th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Woman: I know. Haven’t they figured out yet that if you hang around The Nation long enough, you’ll get hired?
Man: They hire anyone.
–elevator, The Nation building
Bagboy: What’s with all the bruises?
Cashier girl: My boyfriend likes to bite.
Bagboy: What? You dating vampires now but you still won’t go out with Tommy?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: next in line
Guy: [something in Spanish]… how do you say “altar boy”? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
