Guy: So where did you say you are from again?
Southern girl: Alabama.
Guy: Hmm. I’ve never been to Alabama. I’ve been to Louisiana, though.
Southern girl: Ugh. It’s all the same thing. If you’ve been to one racist, idiot hellhole, you’ve been to them all.
–F train
Suit: So, you wanna bring the strippers to paintball?
–45th St & Ave of the Americas
Suit: They are not stupid people, even though they are from the Midwest.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: MJ
Suit: We’re meeting in conference room G, but there’s still blood in there from the last meeting.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: Russo
Suit whispering baby talk into another’s ear: Freddie, wash my butthole.
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Late-50s suit to another: My next-door neighbors, they don’t know how to communicate with their Mexicans.
–N & R platform, 49th St
Overheard by: Wish I could have heard more
Suit to another: I don’t care what they say — once a french maid, always a french maid.
–Rockefeller Center
Suit on cell: If it wasn’t for goat’s milk I don’t know how I would’ve made it through college.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: y2jon
Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country.
–Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side
Security guard to group of teenagers: Where are you from? Are you from the West Coast? I want to know what's going on over there.
Teenager: We're from Washington, DC.
Security guard: Oh, that's on the West Coast.
Teenager: No, Washington, DC is on the East Coast.
Security guard: Ohhh. You've got all those politicians, huh? That sucks.
–Bowrey Ballroom
Overheard by: Fifi
Rich high-school girl #1: We should totally do this more often, like go to Philadelphia for the day.
Rich high-school girl #2: Totally! Where is Philadelphia, anyway? Is it next to Pennsylvania?
Rich high-school girl #1: Yeah, I think so…
Rich high-school girl #2: So then, where's Alabama?
–Megabus
Overheard by: appalled
Guy trying to pick up girl: So where are you from?
Girl: Iowa.
Guy: Oh, man! My family and I almost moved there…but it sucked, so we moved to Florida instead.
Girl: Oh.
–Park Ave & 33rd St
Woman #1: And so I told him, ‘I love New York, and I’m not coming back to Portland. When you get home, pack up our stuff and come out to New York.’
Woman #2: Wow. You better marry that boy.
Woman #1: Well, he’s already married.
Woman #2: Oh…
Woman #1: It’s okay, I’m in no hurry.
–E train
Daughter, looking at “NJ Transit” sign: Why does it say we’re in New Jersey?!
Mother: Aren’t we?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jay
Suit #1: So how was working in the Atlanta office? Hook up with any girls there?
Suit #2: Man, every girl in that city who’s over 21 is either married or divorced. Lots of good-looking ones, though. But it’s like you think you’re in Barney’s and it’s really Salvation Army.
–Park & 48th
Intern: Have you ever been to Disney World?
Employee: Yes, when I was 8. It was when I had my first cigarette.
–3rd Ave
