Queer: So, I lost my virginity at 13 for all the wrong reasons.
Friend: Haha!
Queer: I’m serious.
Friend: Oh… Really?!
–180th & Ft Washington
Overheard by: reading and laughing
Queer: So, I lost my virginity at 13 for all the wrong reasons.
Friend: Haha!
Queer: I’m serious.
Friend: Oh… Really?!
–180th & Ft Washington
Overheard by: reading and laughing
Dominican guy #1: Yo, there’s this new movie coming out about that shit. It’s like 300, and I’ve got a copy. You wanna borrow it?
Dominican guy #2: Yeah. I’m a big history buff.
Dominican guy #1: It’s about Caesar, and, like, his magical sword…
Dominican guy #2: Excalibur.
Dominican guy #1: Yeah.
–187th & Ft. Washington
Overheard by: Et tu, Galahad?
Child: Look, Mommy, that lady looks like Daddy’s computer.
Mother: Which one?
Child: The one he has in his office.
–Seaman & Cumming
Woman who endured rush hour: Wow, what a rush! That was just like Frogger!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Amy D M
Girl watching friend play Frogger: Oh, I remember how to play! You’re supposed to avoid the cars!
–Barcade, Williamsburg
Overheard by: champ
Dude: I’m telling you, I was put on this Earth just to play fuckin’ Tetris.
–W 13th St
Overheard by: Lauren L
Little Dominican boy to classmate: Why you had to tell on me, white boy, version-one-of-Donkey-Kong?!
–PS 8, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Mona
Law student: He’s a good professor, but he doesn’t have that Mortal Kombat instinct. You know — finish him!
–Sammy’s Noodle Shop, 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Student #1: Today is our first day of classes.
Student #2: Yeah, and it’s Martin Luther King’s birthday today.
Student #1: Most other schools are closed on Martin Luther King Day, but we’re open.
Student #2: Does that make our school racist?
–185th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Anthony Ross
Little boy: I didn’t bring my sword!
Father: Why not?
Little boy: It’s not big enough.
Father: Son, size doesn’t matter.
–Medieval Festival, Fort Tryon Park
Overheard by: Mikeyg
Woman #1: All I’m saying is he had three meats today.
Woman #2: He had three meats?
Woman #1: Three meats! And he don’t even have a job!
–147th & 7th
Overheard by: Fogeltrain
Black guy #1: Man, we shoulda gone to the Target in Queens!
Black guy #2: Yeah! That’s where all the white people go!
–Target, Inwood
Overheard by: amused white girl
Yellow cab driver, leaning out window: Hey.
Gypsy cab driver: Yeah?
Yellow cab driver: Uh, West Side Highway?
Gypsy cab driver: Ri’on Dy’man.
Yellow cab driver: What?
Gypsy cab driver: Right on Dyckman.
Yellow cab driver: Oh! Okay.
Gypsy cab driver: Fuckin’ tourists.
–204th & Broadway
Overheard by: amused passenger
Headline by: NYwannabe
Runners-Up:
· “GPS: Gypsy Positioning System–Taxi Technology of the Future” – also amused
· “Adventure Tourism For Rich People With Everything” – Julie
· “Headline Be Damned, I’m Shocked There Were 2 Cabs in Inwood!” – erak
· “Hey, My Mother Was a Fucking Tourist” – Eugene
· “Real NYC Cabbies Just Head in the Wrong Direction” – Gary
· “So I Guess Asking For Grey Poupon Is Out of the Question” – Jen
· “They Never Come to a Complete Glottal Stop” – markle
Entendre Queen, to 4-year-old daughter: Now you’ll have alone playtime for 40 minutes. Then Mommy will play with herself after that for another 40 minutes. Then Daddy will join Mommy for some playtime. You can either watch Mommy and Daddy play or go play on your own again.
–207th & Broadway
Overheard by: Elizabeth R.
