Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners

NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.

–University & 4th St

Overheard by: sarah

Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!

–147th & Convent

Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.

–Park Ave & Spring St

Overheard by: Christopher Schulz

Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.

–Macy's

Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?

–Meatpacking District

Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack

Posted on April 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Hipsters, Italians, Jobs & Careers, Magic, Manhattan, Movies, One-liners, Questions, Sexuality, Store, Street, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Little Engine That Could But Didn't

Chick: Excuse me, are the trains running? Because there's one just sitting there…
Station clerk: Nah, they runnin', they runnin'! He just chillin' a little!

–215th Street 1 Station

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on March 17, 2015
Clerks, Default, Girls, Leisure, Public Transportation, Questions, Washington Heights and Inwood, Words

Do Girls Have Penises? Discuss

Straight guy #1: I saw this show on TV about guys who would date girls even if they have a penis ‘cuz they were so hot!
Straight guy #2: Penis is definitely the deal breaker for me.

–187th St & Broadway

Posted on March 14, 2015
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Penis, Trannies, TV, Washington Heights and Inwood

Eyeliner Tattooing? Definitely.

Girl: She got it for her grandfather.
Guy: He ain't gonna like that.
Girl: You don't know him.
Guy: All I'm sayin' is unless she wins the lotto, she's never gonna be anything but middle class.
Girl: She ain't even middle class!
Guy: I mean she won't get any better than that. Companies just don't hire people with face tattoos. But maybe it's different for girls.

–168th St

Overheard by: Acacia Graddy-Gamel

Posted on January 30, 2015
Family Ties, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Physical appearance, Tattoos, Washington Heights and Inwood

Wednesday One-Liners Must Be from Queens

Woman, texting: How do you pluralize "uterus"?

–TKTS Booth

Overheard by: DramaPirate

Kids entertainer, singing: Do you know what a co-creator is? To create is to make something, and when you co-create, you do it together…

–Kindergarten party, Williamsburg

Cashier with cookbook: It's got a table of continents so you can see what's in it!

–Department Store, 225th St

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Student: I just love adding "izzle" to the end of words.

–Metro-North

Coworker: UPS didn't have the tracking information at first, but then they found it… Good thing, because I was about to blow a casket.

–Fordham University

Posted on December 20, 2014
Actors, All Wednesday One-Liners, Cashiers, Coworkers, Fordham, One-liners, Private Parts, Questions, Sex, Singing, Store, Students, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Williamsburg, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners for Bernardo and the Sharks

Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.

–Park Terrace West, Inwood

Overheard by: Gringo Starr

Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.

–F Train

Overheard by: Brent

Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?

–Colombus Circle

Overheard by: Graham Davis

JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.

–92nd & 5th

Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!

–Times Square

Overheard by: CytoFox

Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!

–Flatbush & Fulton

Overheard by: Chelsea

Posted on November 30, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Insults, JAPs, Latinos, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs, Times Square, Washington Heights and Inwood

Jesus. You Win.

Woman #1: I have had a song stuck in my head all day — it’s driving me crazy.
Woman #2: I have had a Celine Dion song stuck in my head ever since I got back from Rwanda.

–169th & Haven

Posted on November 12, 2014
Friends, Music, Washington Heights and Inwood

Is That a Promise?

Girl #1: I seriously love Barry Manilow. I’m gonna get Barry Manilow to perform at my wedding.
Girl #2: No, he’s gonna be dead by then.

–157th & Broadway

Posted on October 24, 2014
About Celebrities, Comebacks, Death, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Marriage, Music, Time, Washington Heights and Inwood

Funny– He Had the Same Message for You.

Guy: Yo, where's your boyfriend at?
Girl: He's at his house.
Guy: Tell him I hate him!

–W 207th St & Cooper St

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Posted on October 16, 2014
Girls, Gripes, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Washington Heights and Inwood

Nothing Like a Spirited Game Of Who's-the-Crack-Baby

Mom, loudly: Who does mommy love?
Screaming toddler, holding cup in stroller: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Mommy loves the baby! And who's the baby?
Child: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Are you the baby?
(child starts crying)
Mom: Oh, stop that! You're old enough to drink a latte, so quit crying.

–183rd St & Ft. Washington Ave

Overheard by: Anna

Posted on October 14, 2014
Age/Aging, Crying, Kids, Love, Moms, Parents, Questions, Should've Used a Condom, Washington Heights and Inwood

Washington Heights and Inwood