Guy: … And I had a really weird dream last night.
Girl: Oh, yeah? About what?
Guy: Mass murder.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Taking the stairs next time
Guy: … And I had a really weird dream last night.
Girl: Oh, yeah? About what?
Guy: Mass murder.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Taking the stairs next time
Old lady to 20-somethings on stoop: I’m singing in the rain. I’m singing in the rain. With Jesus Christ as my friend, I’m happy again [walks away].
20-something guy: If I wrote a scene like that into a script, everyone would think I was trying too hard.
–Webster Hall
Man sitting outside building: Hey, Angelo! You know why I sit over here?
Bored doorman: Why?
Man: You can see those midgets straight through there gettin’ in and out of that box! They do things you wouldn’t believe! Outfits and everything!
–77th St, between Lex & 3rd Ave
Headline by: nick
Runners-Up:
· “Count Me In!” – Lalaith
· “And with a Little Peanut Butter, You Can Get Them to Lick You anywhere.” – Jeff P
· “Dude, That’s a Fucking Playground” – s h
· “Like Babies but Cuter!” – Tellulah
· “Otis Gets Cable” – D. Kareem
· “That Box? Lindsay Lohan.” – sweetchuck
Bimbette on cell: Well, I really need to go to Linens ‘n’ Things today, because when I move into my new apartment I’m going to need tons of, like, linens… ‘n’ things. Oh my god, that’s so weird!
–Outside Bed, Bath & Beyond, 19th & 6th
Mini thug: Yo, my mother is weird, son. All we be having is fruits and shit in our house — like we Jewish or somethin’.
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: tiffb
Large black lady: You must have to look weird to work in this store… I haven’t seen a normal-looking person since we got here.
–GameStop, 33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Toria
Queer: Being gay is sooo weird.
–F train
Girl to friend: Making out with my brother was the weirdest thing of my life.
–79th St Crosstown Bus
Chick to another: She’s a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don’t think she goes to her rabbi’s high, but…
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: cole
Professor: … So the art department on the set just smokes pot all day and paints blue boulders.
–Media Productions class, City College
Mini thug: Yo, I wouldn’t even have to be high out of my mind to enjoy this shit!
–Brooklyn Cyclone, Coney Island
Overheard by: Alie
Smoking model on cell: Um, yeah, he’s cute… But, duh — he’s addicted to opiates!
–Houston & Laffayette
Overheard by: Jake
Hobo to girls: How are you smiling in a city filled with a million crackheads?
–56th & 5th
Guy on a rant in front of Imagine mosaic: In my next life I want to be an amoeba! Make more music, smoke more pot… Eating healthily is expensive! We should all have 40 acres and a mule and start all over!
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having
Lady suit: Man, I love cheese. You know what I wish I had? A pillow made of cheese. That way I can eat cheese when I’m awake and when I sleep. I can, like, chew on my pillow and I’ll truly be eating cheese 24/7. Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Male suit: Mmm, yes.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: drew roddy
Man #1: Do you think in a past life you were a lemon?
Man #2: Why do you ask?
Man #1: I was just wondering…
–Starbucks
Workout girl #1: It feels so sticky when I put it on my lips.
Workout girl #2: That’s why you don’t stick your fingers all the way inside it.
–Synergy Gym, Astoria
Overheard by: Wog
Headline by: Rocks N Socks
Runners-Up:
· “How to Eat a Bowl Of Ice Cream Without a Spoon” – Karl
· “Life Without a Toilet Plunger…” – Jackster
· “Oh Cum On!” – Mike
· “The Rim Is All You Need…” – Steph
· “Winnie The Pooh Had The Same Problem With His Honeypot” – Sticky Thump
Teen #1: Hey, since, like, they keep putting cement and buildings and stuff on the Earth, won’t it just keep gettin’ heavier and, like, explode?
Teen #2: You know what? I never thought about that!
–Grand Central
Drunk, nearly toothless hobo #1, putting arms around unsuspecting teens: Nigga, I would like to tell you a story!
Drunk, nearly toothless hobo #2, surprising teens from other side: Listen to his story, nigga. It’s a wonderful story — listen up.
–St. Mark’s Pl & 2nd Ave
