30-ish man: I’m getting fat and going bald. These are the number one and number two things that men fear.
30-ish lady: What about impotence and gay?
30-ish man: Okay, then — numbers three and four.
–70th & Broadway
30-ish man: I’m getting fat and going bald. These are the number one and number two things that men fear.
30-ish lady: What about impotence and gay?
30-ish man: Okay, then — numbers three and four.
–70th & Broadway
Woman #1: The kids I babysit are… I wanna say ‘satanic.’
Woman #2: Wow.
Woman #1: I know it sounds strong, but every time I’m over there they’re like, ‘Let’s think of different ways to kill Jesus.’
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Charlie
Lady #1: … And I know he still wants me just by seeing the way he looks at me still.
Lady #2: But he told me he’s done wit’ you!
Lady #1: Look, when it’s late at night and he ain’t got nothin’ to do, who is he gonna call? Not the Ghostbusters!
–6 train
Overheard by: Ari
Hobo at end of rant: God bless John Lennon and Marvin Gaye, because John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love,’ and Marvin Gaye said, ‘What’s goin’ on.’
Old lady: Now, that’s a nice thing to remember.
–7 train
Overheard by: Tom
50-ish woman: … And the chaps covered his front, but his whole backside was out for the world to see.
20-ish woman: Oooh!
50-ish woman: No, honey. There was no ‘Oooh’ about it.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Woman #1: You aren’t wearing stockings?
Woman #2: I would have a serious problem putting on lotion if I was.
Woman #1: Wow, you have a real tight ass. I could have sworn you were wearing stockings when I was patting down your ass this morning.
–LIRR
Woman #1: I’d look good in this dress.
Woman #2: I’d look good in motherfuckin’ anything.
–West side
Overheard by: Christie
Latina #1 pushing stroller: Mira! Today was the first day of David’s school!
Latina #2: Damn! It start so quickly already?
Latina #1: Yeah, I went to drop David and met with the principal. He seemed a bit shady.
Latina #2: Shady? Like how?
Latina #1: I dunno. He was going on about how he treat everybody in school like his own children. I was like, ‘Hold up! What family has so many kids, anyway?’
–9th & 4th
Woman #1: He slept with Mary?
Woman #2: And to think that I was this close to falling in love with him.
–Starbucks, Times Square
Engaged girl: Oh my god, who did what with it?
Married girl: I squeezed it until it was blue.
–6th Ave & Carmine
Overheard by: Rachel
