9 to 5-ers

Mass Suffering Is the New Black

Female employee #1: Have you seen the “Save Darfur” shirts? I want one.
Female employee #2: No.
(after ten minutes)
Female employee #1: See? Here’s the “Save Darfur” shirt. I really want one.
Female employee #2: What’s that?
Female employee #1: “Save Darfur”.
Female employee #2: What?
Female employee #1: You know, in Africa, where all that genocide is happening…
Female employee #2: Oh. (pause) I love the color!
Female employee #1: Yeah.

–Dressing Room, Urban Outfitters, 72nd Street & Broadway

Overheard by: ewg

One Year Later

This past week the first anniversary of this site went quietly by. Wow, has it really been a year already? Yes, it has. We just said so. Please pay attention. We hope that the site has made you laugh, or caused you to look over your shoulder before speaking.

We wanted to take this moment to thank our readers, especially those who contribute, and our non-readers, especially those who provide our fodder. This site wouldn’t be here without the help of friendly ears. If you heard anything, do take the time to send it in.

We also wanted to announce that due to the great influx of submissions, starting tomorrow we’re going to be posting twice daily for as long as possible. Onward and upward, as we once overheard someone say.

–The Overheard In New York Staff, NYC

Non-sequitur theater

Businessman: It wasn’t the Buddhist philosophy that I objected to. I objected to the fact that they wanted my therapist’s signature.

–Flatiron district

Pencil Envy

A boss approaches his employee, holding up two pieces of lead for a retractable pencil.

Boss: I don’t ask you to do much, but can you tell me which one of these is bigger?

–UES

Overheard by: Mindi Laine

Pledge Drive

Greetings, friends. Do you enjoy the fine, free quality programming here at Overheard in New York? Then you owe it to yourself to contribute whatever you happen to overhear. Together, we can continue bringing you the meta-humor we all know and love.

Thanks

The Staff

Paging Def Leppard

Male Employee: No, that’s hemophilia. Hypoglycemia is, like, when your
body produces more sugar than your system can handle.
Female Employee: Yeah! That’s me!

–Lord & Taylor

Overheard by: Megan Buckley

Heard in New York

Our beloved editor will give a talk 8pm this Wednesday, 12/8, about working with Harvey Pekar on Our Movie Year. It’s in the basement of Lolita, corner of Broome and Allen on the LES. Our beloved publisher will be there as well; come by and say hi to the Overheard staff!

This Doesn’t Sound Right…

Businessman: Maria, Maria, Maria. I eat like 5 times a day.
Maria: So how do you stay looking so good?
Businessman: I’m a vegetarian, so I have to eat all the time.

–Midtown office

Depends on What Your Definition of “Invented” Is

Businesswoman: It was almost like something I invented, although the restaurant did have that dish. But other restaurants didn’t have it!

–Midtown office

I’m Thankful for My Alcoholism

Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood.

–Midtown Office

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