Store employee over loudspeaker: Attention shoppers. The time now is 9 pm. This store is now closing, please bring all your items to the front register.
Loud guy in the back: I don’t want to go home!
–238th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Mandy
Store employee over loudspeaker: Attention shoppers. The time now is 9 pm. This store is now closing, please bring all your items to the front register.
Loud guy in the back: I don’t want to go home!
–238th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Mandy
Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Korky
20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Claire H.
Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.
–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre
Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."
–Chambers St Subway Station
Overheard by: sarah
Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.
–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place
Overheard by: Any Britney Song
20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.
–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway
Black guy: Good god. I had to actually work today.
Indian chick: By “work” you obviously mean taking credit for the many hours of hard labor endured by my fellow Indian IT brethren who report to you. You exploiting bastard.
Black guy: Ha, ha. Like slavery. But I’m Black.
Indian chick: Oh, the wicked irony.
Black guy: Word.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: drama
Street Vendor: Hey, hey, hey man, jewelry blow out special. Everything a dollar. Buy something nice for your wife for the holidays. One dollar!
Businessman: A dollar? I’m not gonna buy my wife jewelry for a dollar.
Street Vendor: It’s the thought that counts.
–57th and 8th
Overheard by: Josh Caldwell
Intern: Have you ever been to Disney World?
Employee: Yes, when I was 8. It was when I had my first cigarette.
–3rd Ave
Tiny gym bunny: I’ve had a really hard past couple of years…
Gym guy: Really?
Tiny gym bunny: Yeah, last year my mom got breast cancer…
Gym guy: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.
Tiny gym bunny: Yeah, and to top it off, I got fat!
Gym guy: Pardon?
–Crunch Gym, 13th & Broadway
Teen boy: I like touching fat people.
–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: CUMT
Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!
–25th & 8th
Overheard by: Beckerman
Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.
–34th & 5th
Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!
–35rd St & 5th Ave
Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."
–Theater, St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
Worried suit: Oh, good. I was hoping you would call. Uh yes…I’ve had bloody stool twice in the past two weeks… Yes, the blood is around it…I don’t know. What do you advise?
–McGraw-Hill Building, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: HELP! I’m in the cube across from him
Woman to male companion: I don’t give a shit about no fucking white people, they can suck my bloody pussy. My shit is all bloody and nasty, but I changed my drawers and shit. At least I don’t just rinse it out and hang it in front of a fan…
–G Train
One-eyed Armenian worker, pointing to sample bottle of Vampire wine: Would you like a taste of this wine? It’s half blood, but only the blood of pretty girls, I only drink pretty girls.
–Liquor Store, 10th St & 2nd Ave
MTA cop to blood drive employee: You want blood? I’ll give you blood. Just not from my arm, if you know what I mean.
–Penn Station
Bro: If it looks like blood, it coagulates like blood.
–6 Train
Girl on cell: How was Vicky’s sweet 16? [couple of seconds later] Was the blood from your nose or your ass?
–36th St & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Cody
Teacher: What country do we live in?
First graders: New York!
–Blessed Sacrament School, 70th St
Overheard by: Fishy Ellie
Deli worker: What part of Mexico are you from?
Tourist: Umm… We’re from Canada.
Deli worker: Oh. You sure like spicy peppers.
Tourist: Yeah. All Canadians like spicy peppers.
Deli worker: True.
–Broadway & Liberty
