50-something woman: Do you have pastrami?
Deli worker: Yes.
50-something woman: Is it good?
Deli worker: Yes.
50-something woman: Okay, then. I'd like a pastrami on rye. Lots of pastrami.
Deli worker: Will that be to stay or to go?
50-something woman: Oh, it's to go home to my husband. Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of his triple bypass surgery.
–Deli Store
Overheard by: ydnew naej
Customer: How much are money orders here?
Teller: Well, I see that you are over the age of fifty so it’ll be free for you.
Customer: Ok, so can I have a money order for $260?
Teller: Ok, so do you want to pay that in cash or withdraw from your account?
Customer: Excuse me?
Teller: How do you want to provide the funds for the money order?
Customer: I thought you said it was free.
Teller: There is no fee for the money order but you still need to provide the funds for it.
Customer: Oh, well you should have made that clear.
Teller: Wow, I’m sorry.
–Commerce Bank, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: E
Businesschick: Can we have a male do this job?
Businesswoman: Who are you going to find?
Businesschick: You throw another female in the mix, we’re going to go off the deep end.
–Midtown office
Older mailman (in AOL voice): You've got mail!
Woman (flatly): Yes.
Older mailman: Like a computer! You've got mail!
–The Village
Overheard by: CS
Woman: I just felt it when I ran it over.
Coworker: Wait. An arm?
Woman: Yeah… I think maybe I moved into the wrong neighborhood.
Coworker: You ran over an arm?
Woman: Yup. It was severed just above the elbow.
–Office building elevator, 770 Broadway
Old Russian man (loudly): I like big tutus!
Bank teller: Yes, okay.
Old Russian man: Like my wife!
–Apple Bank, 86th St
Overheard by: hatia
Businesschick: You have to learn to say no to those aggressive French men!
Businessman: Do I really?
Businesschick: No, I’m just kidding.
–Midtown Office
Male customer (looking dubiously at sandwich in wrapper marked chicken): Is this the fish fillet sandwich I ordered?
Counter person: Yes, the chicken is the fish.
–Wendy’s, Boston Road, The Bronx
Overheard by: Suze V
Businesswoman #1: How are you doing?
Businesswoman #2: Crazy. How are you?
Businesswoman #1: Not as crazy as you, I guess. Your hair looks good today.
–Midotwn office
Ghetto store employee #1: Yo, they got people in Egypt?
Ghetto store employee #2: Yeah, they got Pizza Hut an everything. Right across the street from the pyramids an shit.
Ghetto store employee #1: Why they be eatin pizza? It’s hot in the desert they ain’t got to be eatin no hot pizza!
–Mass Produced Clothing Store, SoHo
