Man: Excuse me, do you have any regular forks? This fry fork is too small.
Hot dog guy: Sorry, sir, all we have are these cocktail forks. We don’t have any regular ones.
Hot dog girl: Yeah, they’re afraid we’d used the regular forks to stab each other.
–Papaya King, West 14th Street
Overheard by: Gozer the Gozarian
White guy: So, do you have any plans for this evening?
Asian girl: Yeah, being angry!
White guy: Oh, that sounds good.
–Houston & 1st
Overheard by: Kristin
Woman leaving K-Mart: What the hell smells like piss?
(hobo with cart full of belongings begins to walk towards her and almost hits her)
Woman: You better watch where you pushing your fucking house!
–K-Mart
Overheard by: I love NYC!
Pretty girl on phone, screaming: I am not upset. I'm not upset–I'm enraged! I'm enraged! Enraged!
Young suit: I think maybe, uh… I'm not sure but…
Old suit: I think maybe she's a little enraged.
–28th St & Madison Ave
Woman: …get on the bus because I’m running late for work.
Crazy lady: I don’t give a rat’s ass if you’re late for work! I don’t care if you get to work and your boss punches you in the face and breaks your nose! I have the right to look for a seat!
Bus: …
Crazy lady storms off the next bus.
Woman: Every day she does that. I can’t take it anymore.
–X37 bus
Man: Miss! You are so beautiful! Your eyes! Your hair! Are you interested in modeling?
Chick: Uh–
Man: I love the way you walk. Imagine! Down a runway!
Chick: It’s because my heel is broken, you fuckhead.
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: Passerby
Irritated girl, yelling at boy: No, no, no, no!
Old man, pointing at boy: No!
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: Husky Gregg
An Asian woman is talking loudly on her cell phone
Fat Black lady: You need to move to the back of the damn bus. We don’t wanna hear that ching-chang ching-chong bullshit!
–Q34 bus
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy on cell: Hello?…What do you mean you have bad news?…You’re pregnant? How could you be pregnant?…I thought you were on the Pill? How did this happen?!…I just got engaged to your sister on the 4th of July…This is really bad news…How long have you known?…A week?! Why did you wait a week to tell me?…Your sister is going to go through the roof…No, she doesn’t come back until Monday…So, I’ll see you tonight?…I told you, I just got engaged to your sister. You can’t be pregnant…Okay, have a good afternoon.
He makes another call.
Guy on cell: Hey…You know Claire*?…Yeah, Lauren’s* sister…Yeah, the hot one…Well, she’s pregnant…Me!
–46th between 5th & 6th
Dude on cell: She was a size 16 before the baby, but now she’s a 32. She went from Kermit the Frog to Snuffleupagus!…What size are you?
–Staten Island Ferry
