Guy to girl: So, that’s why you broke up? I don’t blame you — you gotta microwave them first, otherwise they’re too spongey.
–Central Park
Overheard by: newyorkette
Guy to girl: So, that’s why you broke up? I don’t blame you — you gotta microwave them first, otherwise they’re too spongey.
–Central Park
Overheard by: newyorkette
Yarmulke guy #1: Well, I mean, like for me one of the biggest issues was religiosity.
Yarmulke guy #2: So, was she more or less than you?
Yarmulke guy #1: Much less.
Yarmulke guy #2: Yeah?
Yarmulke guy #1: Let me just put it this way: two days after we broke up she was wearing pants.
–1 train
Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.
–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street
Guy #1: So I had ex sex last night.
Guy #2: How was it?
Guy #1: Amazing as always, but now I’m fucked cause she’s gonna start calling me again.
Guy #2: Imagine that, you sleep with someone and then they call you…Crazy.
–1 train
Drunk guy: Don’t you fuck with me!
Sober woman: What?
Drunk guy: You sleep with a different guy every night!
Sober woman: I do not. What are you talking about?
Drunk guy: You love…me. You want to marry…me.
Sober woman: This is ridiculous. I’ve had enough. I don’t have to take this anymore. Goodbye!
She leaves. He turns to the next table.
Drunk guy: Yeah, did you see that girl who just left? I just dumped her. Can I buy you two a drink?
–Rosie O’Grady’s, 7th Avenue
Guy #1: Dude, where’s your woman tonight?
Chick: Yeah, where is she?
Guy #2: She’s back in Ohio breaking up with her boyfriend.
–112th & Amsterdam
Girl #1: I never realized how nice his back was until we broke up.
Girl #2: As he was walking away from you?
–Stuyvesant & 3rd
Overheard by: katyunextraordinaire
Woman: I mean, I don’t want to break up with him, but I just don’t think I can date an amputee.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: Jeff Julian
Woman: He wants the pad tai with chicken, no vegetables.
Man: I can’t have vegetables. My vegetarian wife just left me.
–Tai Hong Lau, Mott Street
Overheard by: Amie
Guy #1: Tell em’ what I did.
Guy #2: Pissed on her.
Guy #1: I pissed on her face while she was sleeping!
–Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Kate C.
