British teen: My god, Americans are so stupid. And they're everywhere.
British mom: Oh, darling… I know, bloody morons. So stupid.
(a block later)
British teen: Mum, where's the Empire State Building?
British mom: Oh honey, that's in Chicago.
–7th and 48th
British girl: So you have gonorrhea. It's not like syphilis or anything.
Lonely 30-something: I have all of the American STDs. I need something more exotic.
–Harlem Line Metro North
Girl drafting floor plan: I've decided I'm going to open a funeral parlor that's sleek, modern and sophisticated. Someplace that doesn't look like your grandma just died there.
Female British classmate: That's awesome. My big idea is to start a protection service for lesbians.
Girl drafting floor plan: Like, security?
Female British classmate: No. Like, safe sex?
–Interior Design Class, FIT
Bartender to drunken gay Brit: I'm sorry, sir, I can't serve you anymore. You've been chasing guys around the bar.
Drunken gay Brit: What? No, I haven't! It was just the one!
–Bar, Chelsea
Overheard by: No one's chasing ME.
British guy: But whenever I give a pitch I cry like a little girl!
Girl: That's why you have to practice with someone who is better than you at pitching!
–New York Film Academy, Union Square
Old British gentleman: The next train is when?
MTA employee in booth: 11:45.
Old British gentleman: This entire nation is incompetent!
–Grand Central Terminal
British female to sullen guy: Hey! What's wrong, chap? Buck up! Go on, buck up! Buck up! (sullen guy stops and looks her way)
Sullen guy, in heavy New York accent: Fuck…off.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Dropping Eaves
British husband, looking into living room: Isn't this wonderful? So calm and serene. Very relaxing, don't you think,dear?
British wife: Oh, I don't know. It isn't very, you know, puffy…
–Frank Lloyd Wright House, American Wing, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Paul N.
Woman: Well, technically I live in New Jersey.
British guy: Is that like in New York?
Woman: Pretty much, yeah.
–L Train
Hassidic Jew in front of Mitzvah Mobile: Excuse me sir, are you Jewish?
British guy: No, I'm good, thanks!
–Union Square West
Overheard by: not jewish
