British teen: My god, Americans are so stupid. And they're everywhere.
British mom: Oh, darling… I know, bloody morons. So stupid.
(a block later)
British teen: Mum, where's the Empire State Building?
British mom: Oh honey, that's in Chicago.

–7th and 48th

British girl: So you have gonorrhea. It's not like syphilis or anything.
Lonely 30-something: I have all of the American STDs. I need something more exotic.

–Harlem Line Metro North

Girl drafting floor plan: I've decided I'm going to open a funeral parlor that's sleek, modern and sophisticated. Someplace that doesn't look like your grandma just died there.
Female British classmate: That's awesome. My big idea is to start a protection service for lesbians.
Girl drafting floor plan: Like, security?
Female British classmate: No. Like, safe sex?

–Interior Design Class, FIT

Bartender to drunken gay Brit: I'm sorry, sir, I can't serve you anymore. You've been chasing guys around the bar.
Drunken gay Brit: What? No, I haven't! It was just the one!

–Bar, Chelsea

Overheard by: No one's chasing ME.

British guy: But whenever I give a pitch I cry like a little girl!
Girl: That's why you have to practice with someone who is better than you at pitching!

–New York Film Academy, Union Square

Old British gentleman: The next train is when?
MTA employee in booth: 11:45.
Old British gentleman: This entire nation is incompetent!

–Grand Central Terminal

British female to sullen guy: Hey! What's wrong, chap? Buck up! Go on, buck up! Buck up! (sullen guy stops and looks her way)
Sullen guy, in heavy New York accent: Fuck…off.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Dropping Eaves

British husband, looking into living room: Isn't this wonderful? So calm and serene. Very relaxing, don't you think,dear?
British wife: Oh, I don't know. It isn't very, you know, puffy…

–Frank Lloyd Wright House, American Wing, Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: Paul N.

Woman: Well, technically I live in New Jersey.
British guy: Is that like in New York?
Woman: Pretty much, yeah.

–L Train

Hassidic Jew in front of Mitzvah Mobile: Excuse me sir, are you Jewish?
British guy: No, I'm good, thanks!

–Union Square West

Overheard by: not jewish