You Just Need Some Deep Wednesday One-Linerin'

Blonde girl: I can't believe he pulled his dick out. Except not really. Except kind of. Except I kind of had to put it back in.

–W 34th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: innocent bystander

Crazy hobo, to himself: Geritol. Yup, that's what she needs. That woman just likes some dick. And there ain't nothin wrong with that. Nothin wrong with a woman likin a long hard dick. Women like dick. Ain't nothing wrong with that. She's gonna get some Geritol all right. Cause see, you got to get it up in the crevices. Work it in with a little Bengay.

–Men's Bathroom, Penn Station

Overheard by: Phil

Salvadoran guy, discussing use of the word "faggot": They can take a dick up their ass, they can take a fucking joke.

–Lawton St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Eric Frazier

Black guy: Man, I can't wear tight pants because I have a big dick! My dick needs to breathe! (holds himself)

–Penn Station

Female Central Park crossing guard: Das cuz da dick was great!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Robert H

Posted on July 31, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Black People, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Clothing, Crazies, Girls, Guys, Height, Hobos, Insults, Latinos, Medicine, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Penis, Penn Station, Sex, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

Yeah, That’s What I’ll Miss the Most

Guy #1: He left me yesterday.
Guy #2: What a cock sucker.

–E 2nd St & Gravesend Neck Rd

Posted on July 30, 2015
Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Gays and Lesbians, Nicknames & name calling, Queer guys, Relationships

Try and Die, Motherfucker

Old creepy guy: You're a pretty lady.
Random lady, walking by: Thanks
Old creep guy: I should kidnap you

–Tour De Brooklyn Rest Site

Overheard by: Amber

Posted on July 29, 2015
Beauty, Brooklyn, Compliments, Creepsters, Old People, Parades & Festitivites, Strangers, Threats, Violence, Women

In Brooklyn? Your Editors Are Shocked.

Lady #1, pointing at imitation Cap'n Crunch: Get those, it's the same thing.
Lady #2: No, he won't eat those.
Lady #1: Well, then he's an asshole.

–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on July 28, 2015
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Fakes, Food, Insults, Women

I Told Them to Bring Us Back Some Barbeque

Street vendor #1: Socks! Socks!
Street vendor #2: Your kids and my kids are down in the underworld together.

–Court & Livingston, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Sean McGurr

Posted on July 28, 2015
Brooklyn, Clothing, Family Ties, Kids, Street, Vendors & Street Performers

Ironic, but Not without Hope

Chick #1: What’s going on with these shopping carts?
Chick #2: It’s the race where people get drunk and dress up in stupid costumes.
Chick #1: Costumes?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Oh! I saw five guys dressed up as apostles down on Bedford earlier today! I thought they were just being ironic.

–Franklin Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on July 28, 2015
Brooklyn, Clothing, Friends

Plus I Need the Answer to a Really Tough Math Problem

Latino cop #1 (directing traffic): Yo, why you stopping that guy? You let all the other people through.
Latino cop #2: Yo, Chinese people do not know how to drive.

–Broadway & Fulton, Brooklyn

Posted on July 27, 2015
Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Cops, Latinos, Race

Whatever Lola Wants

Guy: Come on, baby, let’s just go inside.
Tranny: I’m not speaking to you unless you take me to Gucci.

–Carroll & 5th, Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: melizza

Posted on July 26, 2015
Brooklyn, Shopping, Trannies

The Sequel to Clue Left a Lot to Be Desired

Hipster girl: Oh, by the way: why did your place smell like piss?
Hipster guy: Matt* got drunk and pissed everywhere last night.
Hipster girl: And when you say Matt* you mean you?
Hipster guy: Yeah, I might.

–Lorimer St

Posted on July 26, 2015
Brooklyn, Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Lies, Pee, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences