When Home-Schooling Attacks!

(moon is covered by a cloud)
Five-year-old boy: Where is the moon?
Mom (looking everywhere): Once it's full it goes back to the beginning, so no moon tonight.

–86th & 5th

Overheard by: Stephanie

Posted on September 16, 2008
Boys, Default, Education, Kids, Moms, Questions, Stupidity, Upper East Side

Which I Wear in a Full Windsor Knot

Black dude: Hey, I like your tie!
White kid: Thanks.
Black dude: Cause it's black, like my cock!

–21st St

Posted on September 16, 2008
Black People, Clothing, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Guys, Kids, Manhattan, Race, White People

Matching Sets Are All the Rage This Season

Ten-year old girl: Can I have another baby?
Mom: Um… No…maybe two.

–W 238th & Broadway

Overheard by: Krisztina, hoping to God they're talking about dolls

Posted on September 16, 2008
Babies, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, The Bronx

We Hope You Never Do

Teen girl #1: We have to go to 90th and Broadway.
Teen girl #2: So, that's only 30 blocks away.
Teen girl #1: No, it's 60 blocks.
Teen girl #2: Oh yeah, I was multiplying.

–LIRR

Posted on September 16, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Directions, Girls, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Stupidity, Teens

Not to Mention Spidey-Sense

Woman #1: So, how are you holding up?
Woman #2: You know, doing the best I can, using the five senses.
Woman #1: There's six senses.
Woman #2: No there's five: walking, talking, breathing, reading and writing.
Woman #1: What about seeing?
Woman #2: Well yeah, there's also fire, wood, air, and water; but I don't know why they don't count those.

–B68 Bus

Posted on September 16, 2008
Default, On the Bus, Questions, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women, Words

Especially If You Have Long Nails

Law student in the middle of the hallway: I think I got her on the foot thing.
Friend: Yeah? Just don't push it too hard.

–Fordham Law School

Posted on September 15, 2008
Advice, Body Parts, Default, Fordham, Friends, Sex, Students, Weirdness

'He Sounds Oxycontinental', They Said

Actor: So that's how I screwed up my callback for Jersey Boys–I was on OxyContin.
Friend: Oh my god, that's like legal heroin!
Actor: I know, so I was all fucked up, but I didn't want to say anything. They probably wrote down “reads well, but sings with a very strange accent.”

–A Train

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Posted on September 15, 2008
Actors, Compare/Contrast, Default, Drugs, Friends, On the Subway, Singing, Theater & Dance

'Cause Johnny Still Hates Jazz

Man: Yo mama, what you readin'?
College girl: Jazz, by Toni Morrison.
Man: Oh that's cool. What's it about?
College girl: Music.
Man: What kind of music? Is that about opera and shit?
College girl: Ummm…

–E Train

Overheard by: Is that like Britney's music?