Chick #1: We should go to class baked!
Chick #2: That would be a terrible idea.
Chick #1: Okay, we should go drunk, then.
Chick #2: That’s a good idea.
–Ladies’ room, NYU Law
Chick #1: We should go to class baked!
Chick #2: That would be a terrible idea.
Chick #1: Okay, we should go drunk, then.
Chick #2: That’s a good idea.
–Ladies’ room, NYU Law
Little girl: Keep your legs closed and your books open. My mommy says a girl can get a boyfriend and then she has to drop out of school.
–uptown A train
Woman: I ain’t gonna take that shit, a’ight! I’m gonna fuck that nigga ’til a nigga come outta me, a’ight!
–38th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Not That Nigga
Student #1, handing over essay: Here, read my paper.
Student #2: Oh my god, is that blood?!
Student #1: No that's… (pause) Oh, no, wait… Yeah, that is blood.
–Friends Seminary
Little boy, pointing at polar bear decal: Cat!
Nanny: That's right.
Little boy, point to same decal: Dog!
Nanny: That's right.
–Park Slope
Suit: Did they tip their 45s to their homies?
–Park Avenue
Overheard by: SuperVixen
Suit on phone: 500 milligrams? That's nothing. First, you need to start looking at the definition of possession…
–Broadway & Reade
Suit to little son: I need to teach you the difference between "homos" and "hobos." You'll understand easily, (giggles) …not much of a difference.
–Doctor's Office, Carrol Gardens
Suit on phone, snickering: Your posts are turd sandwiches!
–4th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: ris
Suit on cell: I say go for it. You're rich, she's hungry. What could be more perfect?
–47th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Adrienne
Girl #1: Oh my god, I love my English teacher.
Guy: Why? He’s so old!
Girl #1: He’s so easy.
Girl #2: What? You guys had sex?
Girl #1: Nah! He passed me with a 90 and all I do in his class is eat
breakfast.
–G train
Overheard by: Faizun Nahar
Hipster boy: There is an art party to benefit the Whitney Independent Study Program tonight! I’m totes going.
Hipster girl: I applied and didn’t get in to the Whitney Program, but this guy who took my anal virginity did.
–Prospect Park
Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus.
Dude: What?
Bus driver: Take it to the end of the bus. I don’t want to listen to you cursing.
Dude: What the fuck? I am not talking to you.
Bus driver: I don’t talk like that.
Dude: You look like you talk like that!
–Q23 bus
Asian to another: And it's like, how many ABCs are there at NYU these day?
Girl to friend, once off train: What's an ABC?
Friend: Asian by Choice?
–F Train
Little Boy: Mommy, what’s THAT? [points to tampon machine in the bathroom.]Mom: It’s for girls.
Little Boy: But what does it DO??
Mom: It’s for girls.
Woman exiting bathroom stall: You’re gonna have a hard time explaining this one.
–Barnes and Noble, Park Slope
