Queer: Yeah, and then she started getting letters telling her how ugly she was…
Fruit flies: Oooh!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Must have been pretty f’ing ugly
Queer: Yeah, and then she started getting letters telling her how ugly she was…
Fruit flies: Oooh!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Must have been pretty f’ing ugly
Fag hag scanning seats during intermission: Oooh, look at that queen up there!
Queer: Girl, that’s no queen! He’s from Long Island.
—High Fidelity show
Frumpy fag hag: Oh my god, I hate swass.
Fat queer: Swamp ass? Oh my god, I know. I’m totally not wearing underwear right now.
–60th & Columbus
Overheard by: Ali
Gay guy: Oh fuck, motherfucker!
Female friend: Why must you be so white?
–Bleecker & 7th Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay!
–Astor Place
Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right?
–9th St, Park Slope
Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys?
–NYU
Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair.
–Peculier Pub, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Mad
Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play.
–Broadway
Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay!
–Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach
Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl
Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick!
–5th Ave, Park Slope
Black queer: Bitch, you better shut up, because Shana does so much more than you.
Fag hag: Oh no, I'm not dissing Shana at all–I love that bitch.
Black queer: I know, right? Shana is amazing. I'm so glad she's not dead.
Fag hag: Me too.
Black queer: So glad she's not dead. God bless her sassy black ass.
–1 Train
Spunky gay boy: It’s not like I go into the bathroom to nap… But when you’re pooping it’s just, you know, relaxing, and when I start to read on the pot I’m like Pavlov’s dog and I get sleepy!
Skeptical fag hag: That’s no excuse for falling asleep naked on my toilet bowl.
Spunky gay boy: Right.
–C train, Hoyt-Schermerhorn St
Headline by: Gold StaR
Runners-Up:
· “But Thanks For The Highest Rated Youtube Hidden Cam Video.” – Veronica
· “I’m Surprised You Can Do It Away from the Home…I Thought Your People Were Like Cats.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “Pavlov’s Log” – Brian G
· “Ring, Ring. Plop, Plop” – Chris
· “The Roofies I Gave You, Now THAT’s an Excuse.” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Then Whats Your Excuse for Doing It on Mine?” – Lezbotron
Chick: Please turn gay and let me be your fag hag!
Dude: No…
Chick: But my potential as a fag hag is being completely wasted! I have such great potential, too! Think about it — I am neurotic…
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Hametuka
Queer: So, yeah, I told him I cheated on him.
Fag hag: Oh… So you don’t really love him, then.
Queer: You think so?
Fag hag: Oh, darling. When you really love someone…
Queer: I know, I know, you don’t cheat on them.
Fag hag: No! When you really love someone, you cheat and never tell.
Queer: You’re so ahead of me.
–Mercer & Broome St
Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Smack Jack
Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.
–92nd Street Y
Overheard by: Kelly
