Guy #1: You don’t have one gay relative?
Guy #2: Well, maybe my junkie cousin.
–7th Street & 2nd Avenue
Guy #1: You don’t have one gay relative?
Guy #2: Well, maybe my junkie cousin.
–7th Street & 2nd Avenue
The man was white, wearing a punk leather jacket and a beret like Saddam Hussein, and had a goatie. He stands up and says: I like Eminem ’cause he can talk his way out of trouble in the black neighborhoods. You’ve heard of oreos, black on the outside, white on the inside? Well I’m a chocolate chip cookie, and I’ll take a toll on
your house!
Man: Uzis are made in Israel but in the hands of blacks on the street. Go figure. Why don’t they do a study about how that happens at NYU, aka NYJew!
Man: Wake the fuck up, America! France pronounces its words better than us, even in their rap music!
Man: Why don’t they play flutes at the orchestra? It’s just a bunch of bam bam bam…Might as well be at a AC/DC concert. ‘Cause they’re afraid it’s too gay! You know in Germany they call it the “queer-flute,”; I used to play flute and I ain’t no fuckin’ queer. Now I just keep my flute in a box, and I’m not making a dirty joke and no, I don’t play the skin flute!
–A train
Overheard by: Dave Smith
Guy #1: I was faithful and honest as I could be under the circumstances.
Guy #2: But you fucked him four times!
–Jamba Juice, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: BondgBoi
Girl #1: So, I’ve been thinking, I think I could be a lesbian. You know, get really really close with a girl. But I don’t think I would want to hook up!
Girl #2: So…kinda like friends?
Girl #1: Oh yeah. I guess so.
Girl #3: So does that make us all lesbians?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Zoe Valen
Guy #1: You have warts?
Guy #2: I don’t know…I think I caught it at the gym.
Guy #1: Uh yeah, getting fucked in the ass at the gym!
–23rd & Park
Construction guy #1: Yo, when I got home last night, I had a 3 hour nap.
Construction guy #2: Oh yeah? Did you spoon with your boyfriend?
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: bernadette
Guy #1: Well, to the west is Chelsea, down past 14th Street is the Village, uptown is Harlem, down past Houston is Soho; the Lower East Side is South past the Village.
Guy #2: What’s this area called?
Guy #1: I have no idea…
–15th & 2nd
Overheard by: Bucky Turco
Old tour man: This is Chelsea, where the homosexual male and homosexual female live. To the right you can spot an interesting haircut on that man. That’s called a Tommyhawk haircut.
–Gray Line bus, 14th & 7th
Overheard by: Hank Luxford
Guy #1: So I’m trying to set Anthony up with this girl.
Guy #2: Wait a minute, I thought Anthony was gay.
Guy #1: Everybody does, but he’s not. He just has a slight lisp.
–Pazza Note, 56th & 6th
Overheard by: El Cubano
Hobo: Of course Bloomberg is fucking gay. All the gays are Republican.
–3rd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: Jim Ed Tabors
Girl: I don’t know if he’s straight or gay, I can’t tell.
Guy: You know that saying “innocent until proven guilty”? Well, everyone at Pratt is gay until proven straight.
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station
Overheard by: Peter F.
A woman at the next table is eating kielbasa with cole slaw.
Queer: Ew, that is so gross!
Woman: Do you want to know what’s gross? Sucking on someone’s cock that has just been in your ass.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
