Gays and Lesbians

Guy #1, shouting: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: The Village?
Guy #1: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: Ok… The Village…
Guy #1: So if someone grabs your dick, you know what it means!

–West 4th St Station

Overheard by: DS

30‐something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn’t want a bucket of it.
Queer: Speak for yourself.

–Miracle Grill

Overheard by: Trying not to choke on my nachos

Latina to male stranger: I’m bi, my homegirl bi, my sister bi. My other sister kissed a girl…
Girl nearby: My mom bi.
Guy: But I’m not. I’m gay.


Overheard by: needs a car

Girl #1: My boyfriend totally has better taste in guys than I do.
Girl #2: Totally.

–Fordham University

Queer #1: The thing about sexuality is…
Queer #2: No! Were you gay when you were a prostitute?

–3rd St & 7th Ave

Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight

Guy: If I’m going to swallow sperm it has to be for love. That’s just how I feel, man.

–Outside the Wintergarden Theater

Overheard by: Dawn‐Kate

Club‐hopper: I don’t like that bar. But it’s a good scene if you want a 700‐pound gay Republican sitting on your face.

–Typhoon, 18th & 8th

Overheard by: Sebastian White

Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at your dick.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at ass.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You want to look at pussy.
Little Chinese Boy #2: You want to look at your balls.
Little Chinese Boy #1: You’re gay.
Little Chinese Boy #2: Faggot.

–W Train

Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl, while leaving screening of “I am legend”: Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.

–Fresh Meadows, Queens

Overheard by: hmmm…

Curly‐haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!

–2 Train

Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.

–NJ Transit

Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.

–Court St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: Justin Casement

Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to “My Sharona”, I was outta there.”

–Chambers & Greenwich

Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy

Girl: I’m, like, the token one. I’m the only lesbo there!

–West 4th and 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jamie