Gays and Lesbians

Teen #1: So, did your friend come by?
Teen #2: Yeah, for a quick hot minute. And girl, she’s sooo skinny. And she’s pregnant… And she’s a lesbian.
Teen #1: Ohhh…
Teen #2: I told her she could be on Jerry Springer.

–4 train

Overheard by: NinjaRider

Worried girl: I don't know what to do. I just met her, but she texts me non stop. Once I got off the plane, I had a text from her saying: “how's New York?” I didn't respond. It's weird.
Guy: Does she think you're a dyke?
Worried girl: I don't know. I told her my boyfriend and I broke up. I don't know why she'd think that.
Other girl: You should've responded to her text saying something like: “New York is great, I'm just sucking on some guy's dick right now.”

–Meatpacking District

Straight boy to group of girls: Hey, what are you guys talking about?
Girl #1: Are you sure you want to know?
Boy: Yes.
Girl #2: We're talking about hot gay guys.
(other girls laugh)
Girl #3: Do you think Jonathan Groff is hot?
(straight boy leaves)

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Kid #1: Do they have gay clothing stores?
Kid #2: Wherever all the gay people are.
Big dude: You guys wanna go watch a Menudo video or something?

–115th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mixmaster Mike

Queer #1, to girl in Red Sox shirt: The Red Sox are fabulous!
Queer #2: Can you be any more gay?

–West 4th & Perry

Hipster #1: What’s up with her? Is she a Lesbian?
Hipster #2: Well, she is Canadian.

–The Mountain Goats Show, Europa, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Becca

Loud teenage guidette: He doesn’t date!
Ugly teenage guidette: Yeah, he’s gay or something. I heard—yeah.
Loud teenage guidette: No, no, he’s protestant—like religious. They worship this Chinese guy…
Ugly teenage guidette: Oh, I heard about that! They don’t date?
Loud teenage guidette: They don’t date white people.


Guy #1, shouting: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: The Village?
Guy #1: We’re in the Village!
Guy #2: Ok… The Village…
Guy #1: So if someone grabs your dick, you know what it means!

–West 4th St Station

Overheard by: DS

30-something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn’t want a bucket of it.
Queer: Speak for yourself.

–Miracle Grill

Overheard by: Trying not to choke on my nachos

Latina to male stranger: I’m bi, my homegirl bi, my sister bi. My other sister kissed a girl…
Girl nearby: My mom bi.
Guy: But I’m not. I’m gay.


Overheard by: needs a car