Hipster girl: Is he gay, or just South African?
Hipster boy: Both.
–L train shuttle bus
Overheard by: Justin Sheckler
Hipster girl: Is he gay, or just South African?
Hipster boy: Both.
–L train shuttle bus
Overheard by: Justin Sheckler
Chick #1: She’s also doing her research project on fag thugs.
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Like, gay people who are thugs.
Chick #2: They have those?
Chick #1: Apparently.
–Pratt
Bi guy #1: So do you have a lot of threesomes?
Bi guy #2: My girlfriend likes to see me take it up the ass. She’s weird like that.
–Chelsea taxicab
Teen girl #1: How do you know it’s uncomfortable?
Teen girl #2: Just put something in your ass and walk around with it.
Teen girl #1: In your ass?
Teen girl #2: Well, on your ass.
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sara R.
Drunk suit: Can I have a gin and tonic?
Irish barman: Only if you have an enema with you, ’cause I’m going to shove it up your arse when I’m done.
–Nancy Whiskey Pub, Lispenard Street
Queer #1: I can’t remember where you put my chapstick last night.
Queer #2: Really? I sure do.
Queer #1: Oh, shoot. I really needed them, my lips are really chapped.
–LaGuardia flight
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Girl: Hey, are you gay?
Guy: Er, yeah I am. How’d you know?
Girl: Score! My gaydar is never wrong! Ever since I came out of the closet it’s just always on!
–B49 bus
Overheard by: Arthur B
Man #1: …so it was like a gilded lily.
Man #2: Ha ha. What does that mean, exactly?
Man #1: Well, a lily is already beautiful, so it doesn’t have to be, y’know, gilded.
Man #2: Like the gays?
Man #1: Exactly.
–Xing, 9th Ave & 52nd St.
Overheard by: C. Marisol de la Rosa
Queer: I heard Matt Lauer is gay.
Fag hag: No, I think he’s married.
Queer: Well, you know Sam Champion is gay, right?
Fag hag: Yeah, he’s open about it.
Queer: He and his lover came to Bloomingdale’s to buy bedding. They used to buy a lot of bedding.
–F train
Lesbian #1: She told me they were having sex.
Lesbian #2: But what does she mean by sex? Do she mean like, fisting or with strap-ons, or what?
Lesbian #1: Well, she just came out, so I don’t think she knows yet.
–Bonnie’s Grill, Park Slope
Overheard by: Andrea
Queer: My sister is so concerned about her son playing with dolls because it will turn him gay. I’m like, “It’s not because I was playing with dolls that I was gay, it was that I looked at a guy and got a hardon!”.
–Japonica, University Place
Overheard by: Rick T
Patron: They know what I am: drunk, gay, and in search of food!…This tastes like cock!
He was later escorted out of the restaurant with his friends.
–Dawat, E. 58th St.
Overheard by: MissHell
