One Liners from the Legitimate Wednesday

Student, about her play: I want the audience to enter through the vagina before they sit down.

–NYU

Guy to younger girl, at intermission of Spring Awakening, right after sex scene: So you had to choose this? We couldn't have gone to see The Little Mermaid?

–Eugene O'Neill Theatre

College student: …exactly how you'd expect a college rendition of The Vagina Monologues to go.

–NYU

Black guy on cell: It doesn't mean I'm gay because I'm going to see a play. (pause) It's for a class… There's nothing wrong with wanting to see a play.

–Union Square

Overheard by: erkala

20-something guy to friend: Picture it; Fishsticks: the musicical!

–63rd St & Broadway

Posted on February 8, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Disney, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, School and studying, Sexuality, Students, Theater, Theater & Dance, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

But It Takes Them to Raise a Child

Middle schooler #1: Yo, is there, like, a gay country?
Middle schooler #2: Hell no, son!
Middle schooler #3: Naaah. There is. I think it’s called ‘The Village,’ but I don’t know where it is.

–Brooklyn Middle School

Posted on December 20, 2022
Elementary & Middle School, Gays and Lesbians, Kids, NYC Geography, Questions, School, School and studying

Here Comes One Now

Girl: You left me for two hours!
Hot gay guy: You left me for one hour!
Girl: I had an errand to run! You did not!
Hot gay guy: My organism is an errand!
Girl: Do normal people do this? When I'm bored, I read or do something constructive.
Hot gay guy: When I'm bored, I have an orgasm.

–9th & Ave C

Posted on December 3, 2022
Alphabet City, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hook Ups, Orgasm, Queer guys, Time

…And Potentially Fuck You?

Skater: Come on. Hang out.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Fuck you! You're a fag! You'd rather hang with your loser friends in this fucking rat hole? I would have fucked you, if you just came to Manhattan but…
Skater: C'mon hang. It'll be cool.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Oh, fuck this. I'm taking this cab. Have fun sucking your buddy's cock, asshole!
Skater, after watching her leave: Fucking bitch! (pauses, then asks perfect stranger) Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?

–12th St & Bedford

Posted on November 19, 2022
BJs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Penis, Sex, Skaters, Smoking, Strangers

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Big Endowment

Girl: We can't become gay just to fit in at this school!

–NYU

Passer-by: I pay $40k a year for school, and that makes me better than you.

–NYU, Tisch

Overheard by: Dan Lurie

NYU girl at party: My parents are actually really into civil liberties.

–NYU Dorm

NYU chick to friend: I love coke! (passing white lady gives her a strange look) I meant the drink, not the drug, lady! Jeez, I'm a minority student at fucking NYU! You think I can afford a coke habit??

–8th & University

Overheard by: Melissa Perez

Gay NYU student, rolling around on the ground in student lounge: I am obsessed with the ground. I mean, who's going to judge me? There's like six million Asians here and none of them are gay.

–Tisch Hall, NYU

Mother, pushing crying two-year-old in stroller: They're never going to accept you here if you keep screaming!

–NYU Admissions

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on November 3, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cocaine, Crying, Drinks, Education, Family Ties, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, Moms, Money & Class, NYU, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Race, School and studying, Should've Used a Condom, Strangers, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Hemingway Short Story That Never Made It to Print

Extremely buff gay man: Oh my god, guys! We're out fishing for anal!
Gay buddies, laughing: You're sooooo right!

–23rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Mimi

Posted on November 2, 2022
Ass, Backdoor, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gays and Lesbians, Laughter, Queer guys

This Baby, for Instance.

Gay guy #1: Nice shoes!
Gay guy #2: Thanks. I got them by doing sexual favors… just like everything else I own.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on October 28, 2022
Compliments, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Prostitution, Queer guys, Sex, Shoes

You Read the Post?? Queer!

Guy: No homo, but Derek Jeter has a pretty amazing ass. Probably the best ass in baseball.
Girl in front of him: Oh, it is not at all gay to appreciate Derek Jeter's ass. The New York Post once said it could stop traffic.

–Yankee Stadium

Posted on October 8, 2022
Ass, Beauty, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Sports, Yankee Stadium

Tonight's Movie: The Last Homorai

Black bag lady: Oh, look, I like this samurai boy here…
Attractive Asian man, passing: Ah, thank you for getting the cultural reference right!
Black bag lady: You married?
Attractive Asian man, walking away: No, I'm gay!

–Long Island City

Posted on September 8, 2022
Asians, Bag ladies, Gays and Lesbians, Long Island, Marriage, Race, Sexuality

Swedish Fishiness

Guy behind line of girls into the women's bathroom: Whoa!
Girl: Hey! You can't come in here!
Guy: It's okay, I'm Swedish–I'm practically gay.

–Madison Square Garden

Posted on September 6, 2022
Default, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Madison Square Garden

Gays and Lesbians