Lady: You know, I heard him sing in the back room and he was like a young Clay Aiken.
–Macy’s
Guy: There’s nothing sadder than seeing an old gay woman.
–Church Street between Vesey and Barclay
Foreign art student: …so then, we are in the shower room, and you know, we start, how do you say…masturbate, and then he leaves, and I am like, “Oh my god, I really want to talk to him too!”.
–MoMA
Guy on cell: It’s not like I sucked some guy’s dick last…oh wait, I did!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: a.alvarez & c.palmatier
Guy: I’m sorry, I left my foundation at home today.
–The Flame, Clinton
Overheard by: Sandy
Homey #1: Yo, hold up…Jesus was a virgin?! He went from 12 to 33 with nothing?
Homey #2: Fuck that shit. He definitely got his dick sucked or buttfucked some bitches.
–L Train, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Brian McCaffrey
Thug: Damn! You can’t go nowhere now without seeing faggots. I saw two brothers holding hands on the train the other day. It’s like they were coming out of the closet on the train!
Thugette: There ain’t no closet on the train.
–L Train, 8th Avenue
Girl high school senior: He's so very uncomfortable that he makes everyone else uncomfortable with his discomfortability.
Boy high school senior: He's very in possession of his femininity.
Girl high school senior: You have no idea how much time he's spent crying to me about that. “Everyone thinks I'm gay. I don't know what I am. No, I'm not gay! Definitely not!”
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Chick #1: What an asshole. Do I look like a transvestite?
Chick #2: No.
Chick #1: Sometimes when a woman is tall and she’s dressed like a woman, she really is a woman.
Chick #2: Unless you’re in Chelsea.
–1 Train
Crazy woman to mother of laughing baby: He likes me! At least you know he ain't gonna be gay!
–14th St & Ave B
Queer #1: Oh, jeez, I hooked up with that guy. Don’t look.
Queer #2: Who, the guy who just walked on? Call him over. What’s his name?
Queer #1: What am I, psychic?
–N train, Ditmars Blvd
Overheard by: ant
Dude #1: You're so slutty!
Dude #2: We're both so slutty…
Dude #1: Heh, I know…if these balls could talk…
Dude #2: It's gotten to the point where, if I'm about to do it with a guy, I drop your name, just to be sure.
–55th & 9th
Straight guy: Uhm dude, I don't think he's gay.
Queer guy: So what? His fly was open.
–Central Park
Hobo: Damn, that nigga be happier than a faggot in a bag of dick.
–125th & Lexington
