Guy #1: Shoot him in the dick!
Girl playing Big Buck Hunter: I like dicks, but usually I make them do the shooting!
Guy #2: I like where this is headed!
–Black Bear Lodge
Overheard by: DR G LUV
White lady reading gossip magazine: Will you all be quiet? I wanna read about Madonna's age mystery!
Black hipster girl: Look at that bitch's hands! Case closed.
–2 Train
Overheard by: not from these parts
Girl: I think I have gout. Look at my fat knees!
Guy friend: Are you sure you're not just having self-image issues?
–Starbucks, 96th & Madison
Teen girl holding up lacy thong to friend: Yo! Anita! Get dis one!
Friend: Nah. I already got those! Remember? I wore them for those pictures.
–Strawberry, Union Square
Girl #1: Aw, you look like a cute bum.
Girl #2: Thanks!
–Leon M. Goldstein High School
Overheard by: Robert
Thug: Hello ladies–give me some money, come on, show me what your workin' with!
Girls: Sorry.
Thug: If I had money I'd buy a box of frosted flakes, organic milk and you two on the side. Yeehaaa!
–Keyfoods, 5th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Elspeth Tremblay
Young girl on father's shoulders (pointing to statue in Union Square): Is that George Washington?
Father (very matter-of-factly): Yes, it is. That's why this is called Washington Square Park.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Stephanie Box
(teenage girl goes to stand next to her friend in line for the bathroom)
Crazy hobo: Bitch, get to the back of the line! I gotta take a shit!
Teenage girl: Oh, I'm not in line, I'm just talking to my friend.
Crazy hobo: If you don't get outta line, I will take a shit on your chest. Do you want me to take a shit on your chest? Cause I will! (to teenage girl's friend) Oooh girl, you pretty. Why you hang out with cunts like these?
–Starbucks, 6th & Christopher
Teen girl #1: Ewwwwww.
Teen girl #2: I know, and it wasn't even vomit!
–Union Square
