Teen girl #1: If you were a guy, I would totally rape you.
Teen girl #2: Isn’t it the other way around?
Teen girl #1: No. I wouldn’t rape a girl. Unless she was a guy.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
–Broadway
Teen girl #1: If you were a guy, I would totally rape you.
Teen girl #2: Isn’t it the other way around?
Teen girl #1: No. I wouldn’t rape a girl. Unless she was a guy.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
–Broadway
Little girl: Daddy! Why can’t I try? Why can’t I ride it?
Dad, on mini-bike: Because I’m God, and God says so.
–72nd & 5th
Overheard by: better off agnostic
Chick #1: Yeah, so I kinda wanna go to the wedding, you know, to see the spectacle.
Chick #2: Mm-hmm.
Chick #1: But on the other hand, I don’t want it to seem like she has any friends.
–Q65A bus
Overheard by: christine
Girl: I just heard a Britney Spears cover. It was odd.
Guy: I like her cover of… I think it was a James Brown song.
Girl: "My Prerogative"?… oh, no, that’s Bobby Brown.
Guy: It was some brown person.
–57th & 8th
Goth guy: Stop looking so happy!
Goth girl: I’m not happy!
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: djingo
Guy: Hey, come and see this comedy show for free! You can get drunk.
Tourist girl: We’re not over twenty-one.
Guy: Man, this is New York! We don’t card! Fuck the government!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Andi
Sarah Lawrence guy: And how is your grandmother?
Sarah Lawrence girl: I don’t know, fucking dying, like everyone else’s grandmother.
–Metro-North
Overheard by: has a healthy grandmother
Little Girl: Mommy, where is heaven?
Ghetto Mommy: Right around the corner from my ass.
–Astoria Blvd
Overheard by: Meg
Headline by: Jim
Runners-Up:
· “A Little ‘Piece’ of Heaven” – Mistress Squidia
· “And on the 28th Day, There Came a Rain of Blood From Heaven…” – smo
· “Cleveland, However, Is Closer to the Armpit.” – Paul Nielsen
· “From Rear to Eternity” – ilemanzer
· “Heaven i’taint.” – Lee
· “Holy Shit” – lounamaa
· “I Don’t Think That’s What Carrie Underwood Meant When She Sang: ‘I Wanna Be Inside Your Heaven'” – Jenny
· “Must Be a ZoroASStrian” – John P.
· “Sample Curriculum from the Sunday School Taught by Mary Kay Letourneau” – steph
· “Suprisingly, More People Get into Heaven Than You’re Led to Believe in Church.” – J.C.
· “Then How Can Godliness Be Next to Cleanliness?” – kelynsh
Woman: See? I’m really good at boning.
–Gavroche, 14th & 7th
Overheard by: the immature restaurant guest
Woman, yelling over to man during downpour: How come every man I date ends up getting me wet?
–Water Club, 500 E 30th
Overheard by: Carolyn
Burly guy: Dude, can you help me get it up?
–Gold’s Gym, 250 West 54th
Teen: I was so thirsty. Anything that went in my mouth, I swallowed.
–LIRR
Overheard by: kaydot
NYU trendoid: I need some nuts, like, hardcore.
–MoMA
Conductor: Please let the passengers get off before pushing on the train. Get them off. Get them off. Get them off fast!
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Philip
Girl: Ooo! I’ll suck on it with you!
–3rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: confused grad student
English girl: The Strokes could do anything and be hot.
Friend: Yeah.
English girl: Even, like… hmm, I was going to say even if they were having a gay orgy, but —
Friend: That would be hot anyway!
English girl: Yeah! So they’d still be hot even if they…
Friend: Were peeing.
–MAC, Spring St
