Young father: Here we are — New York City! The greatest city in the world.
Four-year-old son: Even better than Hoboken, Dad?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Phil
Young father: Here we are — New York City! The greatest city in the world.
Four-year-old son: Even better than Hoboken, Dad?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Phil
Man on cell: The notebook is perfect and it also fits down my pants.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I Love You Alex
Hipster girl: So, as I was tasting him… Oh! My pants just unbuttoned!
–W 12th St
Overheard by: Paige
Conductor: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is our last stop, Grand Central Station. Please make sure you have your purses, pants, makeup and fake eyebrows.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Meaghan
High school goomba on cell: He’s just mad because I’ve got my own style. Y’know, I decided what I wanted to be like — y’know, how I wanted to look — and went with it. Just wait until summer — he won’t be able to touch me. Yo, do you know how hard it is to find white pants in Staten Island if you’re a guy? I had to go to Brooklyn to get them!
–S48 bus, Staten Island
Overheard by: It’s not part of the uniform?
Girl on cell: Just pull your pants down and take it like a man!
–E 12th & 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Mistres Silver
Dude: Remember when that Turkish girl stuck her hands in my pants? I was like, ‘Hold on. You’re Muslim and I’m Texan — I don’t think this is gonna work.’
–Cheapshots
Overheard by: B
Man to lady: I need pants desperately. I can’t wait!
–32nd & Broadway
Woman #1: Wow, are those peaches?
Woman #2: Yeah, peaches.
Woman #1: Wow, I thought they only grew in poor countries.
–Community garden, 9th & C
15-year-old on cell: Why would they invade Lebanon? We’ve got nothing they want. All we’ve got are trees.
–64th & 5th
Overheard by: Caroline
Professor Obvious, on Hezbollah situation: It’s, like, so Old Testament. They really need to come up off that shit.
–Wooster & Houston
B&T mom on cell: God, honey, calm down. I’m in Manhattan, not Lebanon.
–American Girl Place, 49th & 5th
Overheard by: Courtney
Wannabe cartographer: Where’s Hezbollah…Like, it’s a city in Iran, right?
–Mug Café, E 13th St
Chick: I’m European. Europeans don’t wait on line — this is bull. [Two hours later, to bathroom attendant] Yeah, well, I was born and raised in Queens, so I guess that’s why I’m so outspoken.
–Crobar
Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova
Annoyed sexy girl: This is stupid! I don't see how you can just think one city is older than another!
Embarrassed boyfriend: Think about it. Can't you see how Rome would be much older than, say, Provo, Utah?
Annoyed sexy girl: Well, I've never been to either of those, so how would I know?
–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave
Overheard by: Veronica
HS girl #1: So exactly how many states are there?
HS girl #2: 52.
HS girl #3: I thought there were only 50.
HS girl #2: That’s because they never count Haiti and Cuba.
–F train
Overheard by: Ting
Mom to daughter, taking out ripped jeans: Rosemary, the people in Ireland will be thinking, “what is she doing wearing ripped jeans?”
Daughter: Mom, I'm sure that people in Ireland wear ripped jeans.
Mom: Yeah, poor people.
–Laundry Room, W 116th St
Teen girl #1: Where did the stereotype that blondes are dumb come from?
Teen girl #2: Poland.
–Brooklyn Tech
Overheard by: Julie
Teen girl #1: Fuck Egypt, let’s go back to your house and have those Jell-o shots.
Teen girl #2: Fine, but it’s like 2:00; my nanny has totally eaten them by now.
–The Met
