Wednesday One-Liners, Eh?

Conductor: This is the train from Grand Central to North White Plains. Next stop is Botanic Gardens. We do not go to Canada. Next stop is Botanic Gardens.

–Metro-North Train

Guy with heavy Brooklyn accent: I don't want to go to a place like Canada if I don't know where it is!

–Avenue of the Americas

Overheard by: Mike

20-something preppy boy (yelling into his phone): It's not racist to hate Canadians! Canadians are not a race!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Man on cell: What? He jumped off a bridge? You have to be Canadian to jump off a bridge!

–Times Square

Tourist: Man, I'm way too Canadian for this escalator.

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: escal-eh?-tor

Posted on September 10, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Canadians, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Global Geography, Grand Central, Guys, Men, On Cell, Preppies, Public Transportation, Race, Stupidity, The Village, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Wishes & desires

For Bonus Points, Answer the Question with Two Dicks in Your Mouth

Female lawyer: Did you see that video where that girl from South Carolina was asked why Americans can't read maps?
Male lawyer: Yeah, she was a teenage beauty contestant. I tell you, I've heard drunk girls with two dicks in their mouth make more sense than that bitch.
Female lawyer: Don't call her a bitch. She was probably just nervous.
Male lawyer: Excuse me, she's a beauty contestant. The only difference between a beauty contestant and an inflatable doll is where you blow into them.
Female lawyer: Excuse me, but I was in a few beauty contests when I was a teenager.
Male lawyer: Really? So tell me, why can't Americans read maps?

–Supreme Court, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on September 9, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Education, Global Geography, Government, Insults, Lawyers, Men, Queens, Questions, Stupidity, Women

There's So Much That We Share That It's Time We're Aware, It's a Small Wednesday One-Liner After All

Drunk guy to foreign friend: So basically everyone in the US is either Irish, Italian, or German…but there are a lot of Puerto Ricans in my neighborhood.

–L Train

Overheard by: bildita

Rockabilly-styled hipster on cell: Just take your cheap Jewish ass back to Korea Town!

–St. Mark's Place

Tourist: There are so many Chinese in this city and they all speak fucking Spanish! It blows my mind!

–125th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Girl on cell: So I may be a Siamese twin…

–57th & 10th

Overheard by: evil em

Woman exiting a Subway restaurant: I feel like I just ate a Mexican immigrant.

–56th & 10th Ave

Overheard by: A Mexican

Posted on September 3, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Food, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hipsters, Insults, Judaism, Language Barrier, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, On the Subway, Tourists, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Like Shock Therapy, Except With Vomiting

Guy with friend (hurriedly): Are you guys shutting down anytime soon?
Free haggis cart guy: No, no, we'll still be here.
Guy with friend: Good, 'cause we got a buddy comin' over from work.
Free haggis cart guy (with some enthusiasm): Is your friend Scottish or something?
Guy with friend: No, he's depressed. But we figured some haggis would cheer him up.
Free haggis cart guy: Oh.

–51st & Broadway

Overheard by: fat bastard

Posted on September 2, 2008
Default, Ethnic Food, Flyer people, Friends, Global Geography, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions

It'd Be Hard to Ketchup

(large Russian woman walks by and says hi)
Old Jewish guy #1: Waddya think of her? She's Russian, right?
Old Jewish guy #2: Yeah, yeah, you can tell. I don't go for that, though. She's a big broad, real chunky. She's like a big tomato.

–Sheep's Meadow, Central Park

Overheard by: makes me hungry…

Posted on August 30, 2008
Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Default, Global Geography, Guys, Jews, Old People, Physical appearance, Questions, Trees and plants

You Guys Are Becoming Chinks in My Armor

Construction worker #1: This place is expensive.
Construction worker #2: Ca-ching.
Korean store owner: I'm not fucking Chinese.
Construction worker #2: It's the cash register sound.
Korean store owner: I don't care, I'm not fucking Chinese, get out of my store.

–Canal & West Broadway

Overheard by: also not chinese

Posted on August 28, 2008
Construction Guys, Coworkers, Default, Global Geography, Insults, Koreans, Languages, Offers and requests, Race, Soho, Words

Let Me Guess– Home Ec. Major?

Roommate #1: Did you switch your language this semester?
Roommate #2: Yeah, to Arabic.
Roommate #3: Is that a country?

–Manhattan College

Overheard by: K-Money

Posted on August 26, 2008
College, Default, Education, Global Geography, Languages, Questions, Students, Stupidity, The Bronx

I Didn't Know Any of This Before Tour-Guide Training

Man #1: The French gave America the Statue of Liberty?
Man #2: Yeah. Because America gave them the Eiffel Tower.

–Staten Island Ferry

Posted on August 23, 2008
Default, Global Geography, History & Geography, Men, Questions, Staten Island Ferry, Statue of Liberty, Stupidity

…That Anybody Takes Charades Seriously

Girl #1: I don't know where he met her. All I know is that she can't play charades for shit and she's half Greek.
Girl #2: What do you mean she cant play charades? And I thought she was from Argentina.
Girl #1: Whatever. The point is, I take charades really seriously. How the hell do you act out The Cosby Show? Who comes up with that?
Girl #2: Wow. That's amazing.

–5th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Aria Grillo

Posted on August 21, 2008
Default, Girls, Global Geography, Questions, TV, Union Square and East Village

Oh Wait– There's JLo's Ass

Camp counselor pointing to giant brass globe: Guys, look! This is America… And way out here is Hawaii…
Camper: I can't find where's The Bronx.

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Autumn

Posted on August 19, 2008
Default, Education, Global Geography, Kids, Museum of Natural History, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors

Global Geography