Woman #1: He divorced his second wife while she was undergoing cancer treatment. Who does that?
Woman #2: The same kind of man that marries Sarah Jessica Parker.
–Metro North, Grand Central
Woman #1: He divorced his second wife while she was undergoing cancer treatment. Who does that?
Woman #2: The same kind of man that marries Sarah Jessica Parker.
–Metro North, Grand Central
Grandma: You wanna hear a funny joke?
Boy: Okay.
Grandma: What’s yellow and smells?
Boy: Daddy?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Hamlet
Hobo: Fucking shit, asshole!
Lady passerby: Watch your mouth! I know you don’t talk to your mama like that!
Entire crowded platform: Oooh!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Charlie
Drunk lady: Excuse me, does this train go to Grand Central?
Guy departing train: Yeah.
–6 platform, Grand Central
Overheard by: maybe i should have said something…
Ghetto chick on cell: Yo, I don’t be unnastandin’ you — you mus’ be talkin’ foreign, ’cause you ain’t talkin’ no American. [Pauses, looking at girl next to her.] Yo, girl, you go to college? ‘Cause you looks smart. [Walks away, then stops at top of stairs, asking no one in particular] Yo, which way is down?
–Grand Central
Hobo: Spare a dollar?
B&T chick: Ew, no.
Hobo: … You have nice legs?
B&T chick: Still, no.
–Grand Central
SUNY purchase student #1: My fucking head hurts.
SUNY purchase student #2 pulling out bag of white pills: Dude, take these pills. You’ll feel better.
SUNY purchase student #1: Uh… What are they?
SUNY purchase student #2: Uh, codeine I think? I don’t know. Yeah, I stole them from a kid at the party last night. He said he found them in a garbage can.
SUNY purchase student #1: Jesus, dude, no.
–Grand Central
Tourist to random girl: You go, girl!
Girl: You can’t say shit like that. You are not in fucking North Carolina anymore!
Tourist: Whatevs, the only difference between New York City and North Carolina is that there is a Y in the middle of N-C.
–Grand Central
Russian guy on cell: I went to see Saw III. Best movie ever — the girl in front of me fainted in the beginning of the movie! Five minutes into the movie she just fainted, and her boyfriend started calling for help. I called an ambulance, they took her away… That movie was awesome!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overenthusiastic male student: Oh! I met Borat! He goes to NYU, right?
–Hunter College
Guy to everyone in theater: Shhh, I’m recording this!
–Movie theater, Court St, Brooklyn
Blonde: Yeah, so I watch Brokeback Mountain like it’s my Bible. I hang on every word, ’cause I really want to know how gay people talk.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren’t like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I’ve ever seen!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Philip Niosi
Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
–The Village, near Mulberry
Overheard by: DC Diva
Flyer guy: Exercise for kids, exercise for kids! Girls, take this, ’cause you need to look good when you’re old enough to get your freak on!
Middle school girl: Bitch, I been fuckin’ since I was eight!
Flyer guy, pulling back flyer: Well, you don’t need this, then!
–Hallway to S train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Bill
