Guy: So how come you were late today?
Girl: I really had to take a dump, otherwise my downward-facing dog was gonna be a non-housebroken one.
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Daniel Motta
Guy: So how come you were late today?
Girl: I really had to take a dump, otherwise my downward-facing dog was gonna be a non-housebroken one.
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Daniel Motta
20-something hipster boyfriend: Are you attracted to Brian?
20-something hipster girlfriend: No.
20-something hipster boyfriend: I don't believe you.
20-something hipster girlfriend: Okay, well, I can't really say anything that would convince you, except… Me being attracted to your friend Brian is just as likely as you being attracted to my friend Suzie.
20-something hipster boyfriend: Fuck! No! Okay, I believe you.
–2 Train
Overheard by: emily darwin
Hipster chick: Popping a blister is like smacking god in the face!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Alice
Homeless man on train begging for money by telling jokes: A black man and a white man go into a bar. They get into a fight with each other. And then they die. And then they go to heaven and god says to them: "What it is… what it is!"
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kristin
Girl to friend: I’m gonna have to get ghetto on god!
–61st & Broadway
Overheard by: lizzerd
Homeless man says to homeless woman: Now, these people are trying to hoodwink god!
–Seventh Ave & Lincoln Place, Park Slope
Overheard by: Annie
Professor to students: God is not a drug dealer!
–Fordham University
Black hipster girl being given directions: Huh? Crosswalk? What is a “crosswalk”?
Shop girl: Honey, I'm from Ohio and I know what a crosswalk is!
–Vintage Store, West Broadway
Overheard by: Murray
Hipster #1: They’re called what?
Hipster #2: Urban Youth. Like Hitler Youth, but funny.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Hipster chick: Oh! Thanks for carrying my bag!
Hipster guy: No problem. I’ll just masturbate on your face later.
Hipster chick, laughing: Well, I didn’t want to say it in public…
–Deli, 9th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: didn’t want to know that
Hipster guy: So I called him and he was like, ‘My mom is here!’ and I was like, ‘Can you bring her with you?’
Hipster girl: Yeah, I don’t know… I’m not sure I could do it.
Hipster guy: Really? Yeah, sometimes it’s not worth the trouble. Just something fun to do every once in a while when you’re bored… I mean, the last time I fucked a 16-year-old was when I was… twenty-two?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jordan
Hipster #1: Why are there so many pregnant women? I don't get it.
Hipster #2: Well, nine months ago was winter. When there's a blizzard, nine months later there's just babies everywhere.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: o!valencia
Hipster guy #1: You can't be a kid forever.
Hipster guy #2: No, but you can think like one.
Hipster guy #1: Yeah, you can think like one.
–Chinatown Bus
Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to 37th Street?
Hipster: Seriously?
Tourist: Well, I’m visiting…
Hipster: Look, man… You’re on 42nd Street now. Walk that way, and if the sign says 43rd Street, you’re going the wrong way. Turn around and go the other way. When the numbers go down, you’re going the right way.
Tourist: So, the streets are numerical.
Passerby #1: Jesus Christ!
Passerby #2: Oh, you people stop it! He didn’t know there would be math on his trip to the city.
–42nd & 8th
