Weiner dog: Woof woof.
Hobo: That isn’t fucking funny! Piece of shit, fucking hors d’oeuvres on wheels!
–Lex between 86 & 87
Weiner dog: Woof woof.
Hobo: That isn’t fucking funny! Piece of shit, fucking hors d’oeuvres on wheels!
–Lex between 86 & 87
Realtor guy:…and the area is really gentrifying quite nicely…very safe. The people from the projects never come over to this side of the neighborhood, so it’s a great place to raise a family.
Homeless passerby pushing a wheelbarrow full of junk: Could you folks help me out with some money to buy food? Give me money. I haven’t eaten in three days.
Realtor guy: Sorry, I… I work on commission. [To his clients] This happens even in Cobble Hill.
The husband and wife walk towards their car.
Homeless guy: Come on man, I’m hungry!
Realtor guy: Fuck you, you just cost me a commission!
–Dwight & Dikeman, Red Hook
Overheard by: Paul J. Pinizzotto
Mature woman to mature husband, going in to see The Light in the Piazza: Piazza — it means “little pizza.”
–Beaumont Theatre, Lincoln Center
Hobo: …and the cookies from the sky, you know, man? All them cookies from the sky, like fuckin’ meteors!
Tourist girl: Look, Mom, it’s a Beat poet!
–Times Square
Crazy guy: Ain’t you people heard of the Treaty of Versailles? I gots mothafuckin’ rights, mothafuckas!
NYU tour guide: Washington Square Park is the vibrant center of campus…
Crazy guy: Rights! You can’t just be dropping mustard gas on me, like that mothafucka from Tennessee be doin’. The Treaty of Versailles says I got rights!
Tour mom: Oh my god! They have mustard gas here now? I told you this city wasn’t safe.
Crazy guy: This bitch understands that I got rights!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Laura Mathis
Dude: I’ve fired 3 people in the last 2 weeks. One girl was fat. But she didn’t know it. She would come into work with her belly falling out of her shirt. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
–NYSC, 38th & Broadway
Overheard by: Aimee
Hobo: Got a cigarette you can spare?…Give me a cigarette!
Girl #1: Hey, fuck you.
Hobo: Yeah, fuck you too!
Girl #2: At least we have a home!
Hobo: Yeah, I got a home too. In your mother’s cunt, bitch!
–Broadway & Bleecker
Overheard by: Solanum
Hobo: How many people you run over in that thing today?
Half a man: None yet, although I could come back later.
–12th Street & 7th Avenue
Hobo: Man, can you spare some change so I can buy a slice of pizza?
Brit guy: I haven’t got any pizza.
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ron Caldwell
Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Drew
