Insults

Biotech #1: Jersey girls ain’t trash — trash gets picked up!
Biotech #2: Hahaha!
NJ girl passerby, defensively: I get picked up!

–Penn Station

Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y’know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.

–One Penn Plaza

Subway announcement: The next l train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track.
Midwest tweaker, to no one in particular: Boo-yah! Buh-buh-buh boo-yah! (blows snot rocket onto subway tracks) The l train? What the fuck is that?

–Bedford L Train

Overheard by: Ben Graney

Girl #1, looking at notebook her friend gave her: Hey, that's a cool notebook!
Girl #2: It's yours, silly!
Girl #1: Oh, yeah!

–City College of New York

Overheard by: Just chilling around..

Conductor: This is a Manhattan-bound number three train; next stop is Sutter avenue-Rutland road; stand clear of the closing doors please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Please do not block the doors, stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Do not block the doors. Stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: For the last motherfucking time, do not block the fucking doors! I know you ghetto-ass niggas don’t care about school, but some people want to get the fuck to work! Stand clear!
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: I can’t fucking take this shit.

–3 Train

Overheard by: Morel Farember

Young bodega rat on corner: Dude, she just told me to go fuck myself!
Bodega rat's friend: That's cause she gangsta–you not!

–Hamilton Heights, 137th & Broadway

Overheard by: Lo Fisch

Man: Hey, I finally got that promotion!
Woman: Oh my god, congratulations! High five!
Man: Don’t touch me.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aaliyah Leuschner

Brunette sister: Ally did turn into a slut in college!
Blonde sister: She's our sister!
Brunette sister: She's getting more than we did in college! Although I got more than you.
Blonde sister: Yeah, probably. I'm paying for the lattes.

–Starbucks, Bryant Park

Girl #1: Oh my god, he called you a bitch? I am going to kill him!
Girl #2: Nooo, it’s okay, I am a bitch. Like, I really never care when people say mean things about me because they’re always true. Like, I’m really mean. I am a huge bitch.
Girl #1: Yeah, same, I guess… I’m a whore.

–26th & 10th

Overheard by: Gaby

Guy: You go ahead, take that seat.
Girl: No, that’s okay, I’m getting off soon.
Guy: So am I! Take it.
Hobo: What’s all this nicey-nice bullshit? Where are we, fucking Michigan? Fucking England?

–1 train

Overheard by: Emily Borgen