Girl: Excuse me, is you popcorn kosher?
Counter guy: Um…I, ah, I dunno.
Girl: Do you even know what kosher means?
Counter guy: Hey, Geraldo. Is our popcorn kosher?
Geraldo: What the fuck’s kosher?
–Loews 84th Street Theatre 6
Girl: Excuse me, is you popcorn kosher?
Counter guy: Um…I, ah, I dunno.
Girl: Do you even know what kosher means?
Counter guy: Hey, Geraldo. Is our popcorn kosher?
Geraldo: What the fuck’s kosher?
–Loews 84th Street Theatre 6
Man: You wore red panties to your brother’s funeral?
Woman: Yeah, I wore green shoes too…You wanna say something about it?
Man: Oh…very…Christmasy.
Woman: I thought you were Jewish?
Man: Well, I am. But I’ve heard of Christmas before!
–Canal & Mulberry
Jewish man: But I was here first! I was waiting!
Black chick: All right sir, just calm down. It doesn’t matter. Get a life.
Jewish man: Why don’t you go back to jail?
Black chick: Yeah, and why don’t you go get some viagra or something?
Jewish man: Yeah, I’d need it for you.
Black chick: Fuck you, bitch!
–Court Street Office Supplies, Brooklyn Hights
Overheard by: mrmcd
Guy #1: She’s really religious, she even goes to a Jesuit school.
Girl #1: Oh! Like JTS?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: What? Isn’t Jesuit another word for Jewish? Like Orthodox or something?
Guy #1: Um, no.
–Columbia University
Rabbi: It’s been two weeks and that’s pretty long for me.
–34th & 7th
Girl: I’ve seen pictures of you as a child. You didn’t look Jewish. Hitler would have loved you. Well, until he saw your penis.
Guy: Wow…uh…wow.
–78th & Columbus
Jessica Cutler: Twelve of my last sixteen boyfriends were Jewish.
–Happy Ending, Broome Street
Jewess: My roommate won’t let me use the oven because it hasn’t been made kosher yet.
Jew: Hey, just tell her we’d all be burned in the same oven. That’ll go over well.
–Flatiron Building office
Girl #1: These paintings are so bright and colorful, but sad.
Girl #2: I know what you mean. Chagall does that. It’s like really bright crazy colors but then makes you feel awful.
Girl #1: It’s so Jewish.
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Vicki
Smoker guy #1: …I won’t be in on Thursday cause of Yom Kippur.
Smoker guy #2: You can’t come to work?
Smoker guy #1: Can’t work, can’t eat, can’t drink.
Smoker guy #2: Can’t eat or drink anything?
Smoker guy #1: Nothing from sundown to sundown.
Smoker guy #2: Jesus!
Smoker guy #1: Wrong.
–49th & 8th
Part of a building under construction fell off into another house, summoning 10 fire trucks.
Lady: See? Maybe this will teach those Jews from building them so high.
–Williamsburg
Boss lady: She needs to get her ass back to work and finish this shit up. I hate these 2 days Jews; tomorrow she’ll be eating a bacon cheeseburger.
–Office, Wall Street
