Informed yuppie: …yeah, no city money was wasted, it was all self financed.
–The Gates
Grandpa: You’re not listening to me!
Grandma: Well, if I listened to you what would you ever have to yell about?
–The Gates
Overheard by: Martha Gelnaw
Little boy: Where are the rides? Mommy, I want to go on the rides!
–The Gates
Toddler waiting for subway with mom: I need a snack.
Mother: You need a smack!
–Franklin Ave
Overheard by: Danielle
Boy: Mommy, what will happen if the tram falls into the river?
Mother: We will all die, darling. But I told you not to be afraid of dying!
Boy: But Mommy, I’m only eight! I’m too young to die!
Mother: Well, darling, stuff happens!
–Roosevelt Island tram
Child: Mom, what are those piles of boxes in that parking lot for? Is that where they keep the garbage?
Mother: No, that’s where the bums live! There is a bum community in there! And they all have no teeth!
–Metro North train
Blond lady who lunches #1: What the fuck is it with the kids these days and their fucking vampires?
Blond lady who lunches #2: Fucking Twilight.
–Madison Avenue
Overheard by: LES girl trying not to laugh
Blond Tourist Bimbo: I’ve never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it’s a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.
–G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station
Overheard by: Ian Robertson
Child, after hurting himself: Jesus!
Grandma: Oh, no. Don’t say that tonight.
Child: Christ!
–Seder, UWS
Overheard by: bobby bo bobby
Headline by: AL
Runners-Up:
· “Sawww-eee.” – Sameer
· “All that colorful Yiddish I taught you, and this is the best you can do?” – MB
· “Blasphemy is allah the same to me” – Yugan
· “Either way, it’s still not kosher” – Peter
· “Wait until after we kill him” – bobofthejungle
Little girl to her mother: You know what is ironic? That sign says, "Learn English."
–Downtown 6 train, 42nd St
Mother: Thas what you gotta watch out for: those assholes.
3-year-old daughter: Okay, Mommy.
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Sanandara Bong
