Waitress: How do you like your toast? White bread or wheat?
Boy child: Toasted.
Waitress: I'm sorry, but how would you like it?
Boy child: Toasted.
–Manhatten Ave & Nassau Ave
20-something girl: It's made just from the hair of Russian virgins.
20-something female friend: That's gross. It's like they're sacrificing them or something. And what–are they, like, children?
20-something girl: Well, maybe just the hair is virgin, like it's never been dyed.
–Columbus Circle
Dad to four-year-old son: Okay, this is our stop.
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
Dad: What?
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
–1 Train
Overheard by: RAF
Father: So, do you have a green card?
Nanny: No, but I’m getting one soon.
Two-year-old boy: Do you have a red one, too?!
–Central Park
Overheard by: heading to the darfur rally
Seven-year-old girl pointing at a spinal column in glass case: What’s that?
10-year-old brother: It’s a snake.
Seven-year-old girl: No way… No, it’s not…
10-year-old brother: Yes, it is. It lives inside you. If you make it mad, it eats your brain.
–Bodies exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: snakebite
Child: The man-of-war is in a black suit, right?
Father: It's not an actual man.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Harmony Yourish
Father: You see, girls, there is an election coming up, and so far we have only had boring white men. This time we could have a black man or a woman as our president!
Four-year-old daughter: But Daddy, we’re white!
Father: Yes, but we aren’t boring.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Emily
Girl: Mum, I can’t get through.
Mum: Honey, I’ve told you before, you have to push and shove past the people otherwise you’ll never get through.
–Rockefeller Center
Male cop: My brother got taken in for rape this morning. To jail.
Female cop: Yeah, one of my kids was arrested last week.
(both laugh)
–42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lynne
Mom: Well, now we’re all going to visit Grandma.
Anxious child: No, Mommy! I don’t want to go to the hospital!
Mom: But we’re going to visit Grandma today…
Anxious child, screaming: No! I don’t want to go to the hospital! People urinate on the floor!
Mom: Everyone can hear you!
–1 train
