Smashed male Yankees fan: Yeah, I am married. So what's the problem with your life?
Equally hammered female Yankees fan: I don't swallow, and I have two twenty-year-old twin boys.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Jabroni
Smashed male Yankees fan: Yeah, I am married. So what's the problem with your life?
Equally hammered female Yankees fan: I don't swallow, and I have two twenty-year-old twin boys.
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Jabroni
Mom: Danny, what did you put in the trunk?
Seven-year-old boy: Don’t you mean, ‘Whom did you put in the trunk’?
–116th & Lex
Mom, to little girl: Don’t you ever say ‘bitch’ again, or I will knock all of your teeth out!
–6 train
Little girl: Is that a tattoo?
Woman: Yeah.
Little girl: People die from those, you know.
Woman: From tattoos?
Little girl: Yes. They get tattoos. Then they get cancer. And then they die.
–2nd & A
Kid, looking at $0.25 soda: Man! These be $0.50 in Queens!
Dad: Yeah, that’s why you gotta come to the Boogie Down Bronx.
–Deli, Taylor Ave
Overheard by: vegannramember
Little girl: Mommy, can you please get me a balloon?
Mother: I’m sorry dear, but they don’t make them anymore.
–14th Street & 8th Avenue
Overheard by: cyrus forman
20-something girl: It's made just from the hair of Russian virgins.
20-something female friend: That's gross. It's like they're sacrificing them or something. And what–are they, like, children?
20-something girl: Well, maybe just the hair is virgin, like it's never been dyed.
–Columbus Circle
Dad to four-year-old son: Okay, this is our stop.
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
Dad: What?
Four-year-old son: I hate life.
–1 Train
Overheard by: RAF
Father: So, do you have a green card?
Nanny: No, but I’m getting one soon.
Two-year-old boy: Do you have a red one, too?!
–Central Park
Overheard by: heading to the darfur rally
