Lower East Side

Hipster Dude: That reminds me of the invention of penicillin.
Hipster Chick: Uh huh.
Hipster Dude: You see they discovered penicillin when they observed…
Hipster Chick: Uh huh.

–Ave A and 6th St.

Overheard by: Cityrag.com

Adult friend: Your mommy just had a baby! How is Jack* doing? Does he have a lot of bottles?
Little girl: No, just boobies.

–Economy Candy, Lower East Side

Guy: Yeah, his nickname is ‘SpongeBob,’ because he looks just like him.
Girl: Oh?
Guy: Yeah, his head is really square, and he’s got this buzz cut…
Girl: Is he full of holes?
Guy: Well, sort of — he’s got eczema.

–Delancey & Orchard St

Young boyfriend, as Madonna's “holiday” comes on: You know, I have always hated Pat Benatar.
Older girlfriend, spitting out beer: Well, that's good honey, because this is Madonna.
Tattooed bartender chick: Pathetic.

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: Cougar Hunter

Her: I don’t care how hungry I am, I’m not gonna eat a plate of somethin’ that looks like throw up!
Him: Well I’m gonna go inside and eat my throw up and you can wait out here or whatever, I don’t care.

–1st Ave. between 6th & 7th St.

Overheard by: K. Thor Jensen

Guy: I totally agree with the idea behind Family Ties.

–Grassroots Tavern, St. Marks Place

Punk #1: I knew this guy once, he had the fetus of his identical twin attached to his shoulder.
Punk #2: I'd cut it off and make a yo-yo out of that shit.

–Rivington & Essex

Girl to mother: I always get freaked out when I see trucks carrying poles, I think they're going to impale me.
Mother: Well, it's good to be aware of that, it does happen. You never know when you're going to have to save your own life!

–Delancey St

Overheard by: Janelle

Tipsy chick #1: I just started with a new gynecologist. She has braces; I don’t know how I feel about that.
Tipsy chick #2: Why, does she use her mouth?

–White Horse Tavern, Hudson St

Overheard by: C.I.

Guy to friend: When Obama wins, I'm going to slap a white person.

–Central Park Bench

Overheard by: Lane

Lady getting sprayed with perfume by her friend: Stop. Stop it! You gonna make me smell like white people.

–East Drive, Prospect Park

Overheard by: White smelly jogger

Black gay man sans shirt, upon seeing group of white girls wandering: Oh my god, white girls! Oh, I didn't mean it like that.

–Christopher St

Gentleman walking past Miss Mamie's Spoonbread Too restaurant: Man, black people eating tofu, white people eating spoonbread…

–W 110th & Columbus

Gingy, referring to ebony colored condoms: This way, when I fuck a white boy he'll still be black!

–E Broadway 99 Cent Store

Black lady in african garb: Too many white flower! Need more black power! (the only white girl around looks up confusedly, now black lady screams in her face) White flower!

–125th & Adam Clayton Powell

Overheard by: Ruby