Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
Woman: Wow, I’ve never been that close to a real arrest before!
Man: Neither have I.
Woman: This shit always happens in the city. Thank God I don’t have to put up with it anymore, now that I live in Jersey City.
Man: Uh huh…
Woman: The irony is, I’m just on my way home from my shrink! Ha, ha!
–F train
Woman: So where should I move to?
Man: Ethiopia.
Woman: Nah. They always have famines there.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Greg
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
Guy: Yeah, they had the baby, named her Maybe, and–
Girl: Wait, they named her Maybe? As in M-A-Y-B-E?
Guy: Uh, yeah. Maybe. But I think it might be spelled differently.
Girl: That’s odd, really a weird baby name.
Guy: Yes, yes it is. But it’s sort of like, maybe she’s theirs, maybe she’s not.
–L train
Man: …and he might give us that cat he was talking about.
Wife: We are not getting a cat.
Man: But you’d love this cat! It has such a great personality!
Wife: Alan, stop the sales pitch, we’re not getting a cat, we’re not getting a dog–
Man: This cat even looks a little like you, it’s got your complexion and everything!
Wife: I thought you said it was a Jewish cat! I thought you said it was a Jewish cat!
–Port Authority
Man #1: Yo, tell him about it!
Man #2: OK, so I got two hookers tonight, but if you want we can get more.
Man #3: That’s all right man, sharing is caring.
–NA, 14th Street
Overheard by: Katerina Leznik
Guy #1: I think that van has more floor space than our apartment.
Guy #2: My life is going nowhere. Line up, ladies!
–Lexington & 66th
An old Russian man has put his bag on the seat next to him. An old lady asks him to move it. He refuses as there are other seats albeit not in the front. Things get escalated until the old lady says: You’re a son of a bitch. I’d like to see you hit me with that. I’ll call the cops right now. I’ve got my cell phone!
–B1 bus
(After this exchange our editor handed her his card and told her that she would be on this site. She was confused on so many levels that they kind of cancelled out and she nodded & smiled.)
Queer: Excuse me, but what is the owner’s name again?
Host: I am the owner.
Queer: Really?
Host: Yeah, there are five of us.
Queer: Damn. Well, which one did I fuck?
–THAT Bar, Smith Street
