Man: …and he might give us that cat he was talking about.
Wife: We are not getting a cat.
Man: But you’d love this cat! It has such a great personality!
Wife: Alan, stop the sales pitch, we’re not getting a cat, we’re not getting a dog–
Man: This cat even looks a little like you, it’s got your complexion and everything!
Wife: I thought you said it was a Jewish cat! I thought you said it was a Jewish cat!
–Port Authority
Man #1: Yo, tell him about it!
Man #2: OK, so I got two hookers tonight, but if you want we can get more.
Man #3: That’s all right man, sharing is caring.
–NA, 14th Street
Overheard by: Katerina Leznik
Guy #1: I think that van has more floor space than our apartment.
Guy #2: My life is going nowhere. Line up, ladies!
–Lexington & 66th
An old Russian man has put his bag on the seat next to him. An old lady asks him to move it. He refuses as there are other seats albeit not in the front. Things get escalated until the old lady says: You’re a son of a bitch. I’d like to see you hit me with that. I’ll call the cops right now. I’ve got my cell phone!
–B1 bus
(After this exchange our editor handed her his card and told her that she would be on this site. She was confused on so many levels that they kind of cancelled out and she nodded & smiled.)
Queer: Excuse me, but what is the owner’s name again?
Host: I am the owner.
Queer: Really?
Host: Yeah, there are five of us.
Queer: Damn. Well, which one did I fuck?
–THAT Bar, Smith Street
Man #1: …so it was like a gilded lily.
Man #2: Ha ha. What does that mean, exactly?
Man #1: Well, a lily is already beautiful, so it doesn’t have to be, y’know, gilded.
Man #2: Like the gays?
Man #1: Exactly.
–Xing, 9th Ave & 52nd St.
Overheard by: C. Marisol de la Rosa
Man: So these teenagers threatened to kill you?
Woman: Yeah…
Man: Why didn’t you call the police?
Woman: I was on the subway, how am I suppose to call the police?
Man: I can’t believe you told me this. Now what am I suppose to do with this piece of information?
–M72 bus
Non-bitch: There’s a man over there in a green jacket who called me a bitch and threatened to kill me because I wouldn’t give him the time.
–59th & Lexington
Man: How is AM New York?
Woman: It’s good, easy. Easy reading. It’s not heavy.
Man: What does AM stand for?
Woman: Umm…I think it stands for morning. Like, morning New York.
Man: Morning! I never thought of that. Yeah, morning New York. That’s good.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jason Steinhauer
Middle aged guy: So she makes six figures, she’s 40, and she lives at home with her mother?
Middle aged woman: Can you believe it? She has a son, too, but he lives on his own. Can you fucking believe that?
Middle aged guy: Jesus!
–2 train
Overheard by: Mike Sidoti
Guy #1: They play the Red Sox opening day.
Guy #2: They play who?
Guy #1: The Red Sox. World Series Champions last year, you know?
Guy #2: They had the World Series last year?
–outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Julie Mitchell
